Access all your favorite blogs from myajc! Home > Channel Serf > Archives > 2006 > November
November 2006
To DVD or Not To DVD?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Seems like Jesse Jackson might be the only person NOT buying “Seinfeld” on DVD. Celebrity-stalking web site extraordinaire TMZ.com is reporting that sales of the just-released Season 7 “Seinfeld” DVD are already up 75 percent over Season 6 and a whopping 90 percent over Season 5 at DVD Empire. A TMZ spokesperson describes DVD Empire as “one of the top DVD retailers on the Internet.” And who are we to doubt TMZ, which brought us the video of “Seinfeld”-er Michael Richard’s ugly “N-word”-filled comedy club rant in the first place?
The Season 7 DVD was released a week ago — one day after Richards went on David Letterman’s show to apologize for his tirade. A few days later, Jackson called for a boycott of “Seinfeld” DVD purchases. Either the news has been slow getting to folks, or the media has greatly overestimated the public’s sense of outrage. Kind of makes you wonder if Fox is having second thoughts about canceling that O.J. interview …
A Bigger “Hit” of “The Sopranos”
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
“The Sopranos” emerges from TV’s version of witness protection on January 10.
That’s when A&E will begin airing reruns of the multiple Emmy-winning series, the basic cable network announced Tuesday. Eight years to the day after their debut on HBO, Tony Soprano and his merry band of mobsters will finally “hit” the masses: Until now, you either had to be a premium cable subscriber or willing to pony up for the DVDs in order to keep up with the fictional exploits of New Jersey’s most messed-up family man.
Two episodes of “The Sopranos” will air back-to-back each Wednesday at 9 p.m. in sequential order. The episodes, which generally run at least 50 minutes without commercials on HBO, won’t be cut for time. But ad-supported A&E says there will be “appropriate editing for content” — specifically, some alternative dialogue and versions of scenes created during initial filming.
What’s that mean? Think “Sex and the City” after it made the similar move from HBO to basic cable TBS. There’ll be less frank talk (A&E general manager Bob DeBitetto told TV Guide that Tony and the gang’s favorite F-word will be replaced with the likes of “freaking”). And, sorry Silvio, no nudity. Apparently the scenes at the Bada Bing, the strip club/mob strategizing spot run by Silvio Dante (Steven Van Zandt), will stay in, but the strippers will have to wear some actual clothes.
Hey, whatever they’ve freaking got to do …
The “None”
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
And then there were (virtually) none.
ABC has put “The Nine” on hiatus, effective immediately. The network says the well-made serialized drama about the post-release lives of a group of people taken hostage in a bank will return later this year, just not when. Prediction: The show has about as good a chance of airing anytime outside the dead of a Saturday night in mid-March as Tim Daly and Chi McBride’s characters had of just going back to business of usual after their hours of terror in the vault.
This pretty much sticks a fork in the fall’s once-redhot serial trend. Viewers just couldn’t or wouldn’t keep up with more than a half-dozen new shows that tried to jump on the “24”/”Lost” bandwagon by making them tune in week after week lest they become confused about the storyline (in the case of Fox’s “Vanished” make that “hopelessly confused,” even if you didn’t miss any episodes). For those of you keeping score at home, here’s what’s already come and gone, although some live on on the Internet: “Six Degrees,” “The Nine,” “Smith,” “Kidnapped,” “Vanished” and “Runaway.” Only “Heroes” and “Jericho” have caught on, but CBS has already announced that the latter will take a good, long “Lost”-like break after this week. Meanwhile, the Serf suspects ABC’s new serial, “Day Break,” is already on life support after last week’s dismal debut.
What went wrong? There’s no one easy answer to that question (which, come to think of it, is sort of the serial-maker’s mantra). Several of the shows were actually quite good, namely “The Nine” and “Kidnapped,” whose networks did them no favors with their quick trigger fingers. Others, well, if you can’t say anything nice about someone … (but seriously, has Ray Liotta’s face moved yet on “Smith?”). Chalk it up to too much of a good AND bad thing. But let’s hope this doesn’t mean the networks give up on high-quality drama that actually require you to think from week-to-week. After all, the next “24” is out there somewhere …
Oh and one more thing. However long they lasted on air, I’m betting all these shows get the full Season 1 DVD treatment. Nothing’s been announced on that front yet, but recent experience (“Commander in Chief” and “So NoTORIous”) suggests you can take it to the bank.
Just not the one on “The Nine” …
Odd couple: TV & marriage
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
If you’re looking for marital advice, you probably don’t want to look to television, at least not lately. But there are some notable marriages from over the years. Read the story here.
What do you think about how couples are portrayed on television? Did we miss any couples in our list?
Early Return to “Prison”
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Memo to Michael Scofield: Don’t go tattooing Fox’s programming schedule on your body in permanent ink.
Fresh off Monday’s 11th hour cancellation of its controversial “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful or … Something” interview with O.J. Simpson — which in turn followed last week’s kiboshing of “Vanished” and resurrection of the supposedly-dead “Justice” for four episodes — the Wacky Network jiggered “Prison Break’s” schedule Tuesday.
Season 2’s “Fall Finale” still will air next Monday at 8 p.m. But instead of going away after that until sometime in March as originally planned, Fox said Tuesday that Michael and the rest of the gang would be back on January 22. There’ll be a one-hour recap of Season 2, followed by all-new episodes beginning Jan. 29.
That means “Prison Break” will lead into “24” at 9 p.m., which is great news for fans of good drama. But with a “no repeats” pledge, that also means “Prison Break” likely will run out of episodes before May. Who knows how the Wacky Network will choose to fill the time?
Four words (at least if the Channel Serf gets her way): “The T-Bag Variety Hour.”
No “Justice,” No peace…
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Fox Broadcasting’s “We’re Just Waiting for ‘American Idol’ To Come Back” tour continues with news that “Vanished” is pretty much vanished to anyone without Internet access. After being exiled to Friday nights for a few weeks, the convoluted, Atlanta-set serial got even more confusing and even lower ratings. To find out what happened to Georgia Senator Jeffrey Collins’ missing wife, Sara, go to Fox on Demand at MySpace.com (www.myspace.com/fox) for the next three Fridays. Streaming of the newest episode begins at 12:01 a.m. (Pacific Time) each Friday.
And it turns out there IS some remaining “Justice” after all. After being yanked off the Monday schedule a few weeks ago, new episodes of the slick procedural drama starring “Alias” vet Victor Garber as a high-priced, incredibly media-savvy (read: oozy) lawyer will air on four consecutive Fridays from 8-9 p.m. starting December 1. But that’s it, there’ll be no new episodes of “Justice” after that.
Then again, who knows? This is Fox, after all. We wouldn’t put it past them to revive “Married with Children” on a whim.
Fox News Going for Laughs?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Finally, something fun to do on Saturday nights in Red State America!
Word on the street is that Fox News Channel is considering creating its own version of “The Daily Show” that’s more likely to crack up the Hannity crowd than all those stoner college kids who currently worship Jon Stewart. The Hollywood Reporter (the “street” in this case being paved with soi lattes and Boxtoxed moovie stars) says two episodes of the fake-y news show “with a decidedly nonliberal bent” could air on Saturday nights in late January, with an eye towards possibly turning it into a weekly show.
“It’s a satirical news format that would play more to the Fox News audience than the Michael Moore channel,” executive producer Joel Surnow told the trade publication. “It would tip more right as ‘The Daily Show’ tips left.”
Which only makes sense. Fox IS the “fair and balanced” channel, after all. They’ve already got co-anchors lined up — a couple of actors named Kurt Long and Susan Yeagley — but I don’t know why they don’t just steal Steven Colbert away from Comedy Central. His satirical news show with a decidedly nonliberal bent seems like it belongs on Fox News already, but maybe they don’t find that funny over there, hmm…
The show, if it happens, would likely represent Fox’s most major attempt yet to attract younger viewers, who are in increasingly short supply among all the cable news channels. The Serf, being a big tent type of gal who’s not yet eligible for AARP, wholeheartedly endorses such an effort and is eager to watch. In the meantime, though, I have to ask: Where exactly on my TV is this “Michael Moore channel?”
Aquarium Deep-Sixes Madonna
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The Good Ship Madonna has run into an iceberg in the form of the Georgia Aquarium.
When NBC broadcasts its controversial concert event, “Madonna: The Confessions Tour — Live From London” all over the country Wednesday, viewers tuning into Atlanta affiliate WXIA-TV are more likely to see Ralph and Norton the whale sharks instead. Thanksgiving marks the one-year anniversary of the opening of the Georgia Aquarium, and WXIA (the Aquarium’s official local television partner) will air back-to-back specials the night before about the giant fish tank. An encore presentation of “A Window to Wow” will lead things off at 8 p.m. Wednesday, followed by the all-new “A Year of Firsts,” broadcast in High Definition from 9-10 p.m.
Fortunately, Madonna — who, ironicially enough, has a song named “Drowned World” on her playlist — hasn’t been put totally out to sea. MyAtlTV (aka the former WB affiliate here in town) will air “Madonna: The Confessions Tour” from 8-10 p.m. Wednesday, preempting “Desire” and “Fashion House.”
And no, the telecast won’t include the controversial scene where she warbles “Live to Tell” while suspended from a giant cross and wearing a crown of thorns. Madonna wanted it in, but NBC eventually bowed to protests and removed the footage from the special filmed during her performance at Wembley Stadium in London.
“Office” Meeting
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Thank God tonight’s supersize episode of “The Office” has finally come and gone from the airwaves!
People think it’s easy being a Professional Television Watcher, but let me assure you it is not. If you’re not busy trying to keep your big mouth shut about upcoming developments on some popular show, you’re having to deal with people saying things like “Look, isn’t that McLean Stevenson over by the Men’s Room?” in a shameless attempt to distract you so they can swipe a DVD of that same show off your desk.
All of which is the Serf’s way of saying that she got a review copy of tonight’s “Office” a full 48 hours ahead of time, and she couldn’t discuss it with anybody! If my brain were a giant Post-It note — OK, maybe not giant — here’s what would be on it:
1) Am I the only one who hopes Pam and Jim don’t get together? (Four words: “Ross and Rachel. Ick.”) The sexual tension between them rings awkwardly, amusingly true, especially now that Stamford office transferee Karen (Rashida Jones) has been added to the mix. She’s classy and funny; plus, much as I love Pam, there’s just something more grownup about Jim and Karen as a couple.
2) Who’s funnier, Kevin with his shredder, or Phyllis with her snarly, “You’ve got a lot to learn about Scranton”-ish girl gang ‘tude towards the Stamford-come-latelys?
3) Why does ANYONE go into the conference room when Michael calls them in? From Diversity Day to the Oscar-Michael kiss and tonight’s make-the-fat-guy-try-and-climb-on-the-table-to-build-team-spirit exercise, it’s always a disaster. Except for us, the viewers.
4) Speaking of which, where IS Oscar? I thought he was kidding about that six-month round-the-world trip …
5) What’s new, Kelly?
OK, discuss amongst yourselves. Don’t make me call everyone into the conference room.
Dancing (Verbally) with Charlie Gibson
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
If ABC anchorman Charles Gibson looks particularly happy during tonight’s newscast, he’s got several good reasons. First, he steered ABC’s prime time election night coverage to an upset ratings win over both NBC and CBS. Then, last night’s edition of “World News” — the first of two he’s anchoring from Atlanta — beat both the “NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams” and “The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric” combined in our fair city..
Most important, perhaps, Gibson called it right when it came to the one election that truly mattered.
“Well, of course, guys are rooting for Emmitt Smith,” he said Wednesday, hours before his network’s live broadcast of the “Dancing with the Stars” finale. “Because he’s a football legend. But he’s really a beautiful man. I mean, he’s very graceful and his footwork is extraordinary.”
So now that Smith’s won, should we expect to see Gibson waltz his way onto the next “Dancing with the Stars” contestant roster?
“Oh God, no, no, no, no, no,” Gibson sounded simultaneously terrified and wildly amused at the thought. When he finally composed himself in a conference room at Atlanta ABC affiliate WSB-TV, he explained that no matter how much attention gets paid to the Big Three network anchors (and no matter how much he was dying to go on “Celebrity Jeopardy”) he always reminds himself, “It’s not about us. To emphasize the personality of the news anchor, I think, diminishes the importance of the news.”
Gibson and company found Atlanta important enough to spend two days here — meanwhile, the Atlanta Fire Department made him an honorary chief at Station 21 in Buckhead. Before heading off to interview Home Depot founder Bernie Marcus for a story about the Georgia Aquarium’s first anniversary that closed Wednesday’s newscast, Gibson, 63, said ABC’s research showed that if incumbent Georgia Democratic Rep. John Barrow’s razor-thin reelection holds up, it will be the first time in history that one party successfully defends every one of its Senate, congressional and gubernatorial seats.
“It all hinges on the Georgia 6th district, strangely enough,” Gibson said.
ABC’s own election night triumph mattered a great deal, Gibson said, but not for the reasons you might expect at a network whose evening newscast regularly finishes second to NBC’s.
“Everything is made of ratings, but it wasn’t that that was important to me,” said the man who took over the “World News” job permanently on Memorial Day, after a tumultuous year in which ABC had lost longtime anchor Peter Jennings to cancer and then seen one of his replacements, Bob Woodruff, nearly killed by an IED in Iraq. “If it went well, people could begin to think prospectively, rather than retrospectively. That it was just sort of time to turn a corner and to begin to think about the future and, I guess, sort of [bring] an end to the mourning period for Peter and an end to the period of time of great concern about Bob.”
Gibson’s face lights up when he discusses Woodruff.
“He’s back, he’s in good shape and he’s getting better all the time,” Gibson said. “He still occasionally has to fight for a noun. His voice is almost back to full timbre, his hair is long so you can’t see the scars on his head and there is still some pockmarking on the face that plastic surgery will fix. He is a big part of the future at ABC News.”
Speaking of the future, Gibson couldn’t help marveling at the webcast the “World News” crew now produces daily at 3 p.m., which can be downloaded to computers and iPods.
“A friend of mine who’s a broker on Wall Street watches the webcast going home on the bus the same way he used to read a P.M. newspaper,” Gibson said. The webcast currently averages between 5 and 6 million downloads a month.
Could he ever have imagined himself discussing such things a year ago?
“I’m an old fart,” Gibson chuckled. ” I wouldn’t even have known what that meant a year ago!”
Permalink | |
O.J. Simpson’s found the real killer … of an idea
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Fox says the former football star, aquitted in 1995 of murdering his estranged wife and a male acquaintance, has agreed to tell TV viewers in a two-part interview airing Nov. 27 and 29 how he would have carried out the killings — if he had done them. Simpson, who vowed to find “the real killers” after his trial, has spent much of the past decade playing golf, so he’s probably had lots of time to think about this. Meanwhile, Fox probably thinks we’ll be holding our noses with one hand, and greedily pressing the “record” button with the other so we don’t miss a word of what O.J. does or doesn’t have to say.
What do you think? Will you watch this interview? Do you think Fox should even be doing this, or should the struggling network just wait a couple of months and sic “24’s” Jack Bauer on everyone involved with this program?
Show Me the Shat!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Aaack! My eyes! MY EYES!!!
I’d pluck them out, but I need them in order to be able to see, to type, to warn America:
William Shatner is about to start boogeying across your TV screen, and he won’t stop. Do you hear me? HE WON’T STOP!!! Even when he’s doing something entirely different on tonight’s debut episode of “Show Me the Money” on ABC, like posing a super-tough “Who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb?”-ish question, you just know he’s thinking, “When can I bust a move again?” He dances because it’s time for a commercial. Because there’s an “R” in the month. Because there is no reason for this show to exist EXCEPT so the “Boston Legal” looney-tune can periodically break out into what I like to think of as The Shat. Picture, if you will, some less-“street” version of the Pillsbury Doughboy. Now repeat after me: “My eyes! MY EYES!!!”
“Show Me the Money” is ABC’s attempt to take the best of two great cultural institutions — the briefcase-totin’ lovelies on the highly-rated “Deal or No Deal,” the rump-shakers on the even more highly-rated “Dancing with the Stars” — and meld them into one all-new and powerful variety/game show hybrid. Who says TV isn’t always trying to raise its game?
Tonight’s inaugural contestant is a wildly enthusistic guy from Lone Grove, Oklahoma, who pants like Marmaduke when he shows off his man-purse (“It’s a murse!”) and goes on (and on and on) about his fondness for Shania Twain. After each question, one of the 13 red miniskirted Million Dollar Dancers in go-go cages overlooking the stage opens a scroll to reveal how much money he’s won or lost. In between, Shatner yells things like, “Ladies, let’s Salsa!” And they all do, all except for Shatner who apparently can only do The Shat. But trust me, that’s enough.
Seriously. Trust me …
“Studio 60 on the Non-Cancellation Strip”
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Um, never mind.
It turns out reports of “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip’s” death were greatly exaggerated. Rumors had been flying for weeks that the mega-hyped Aaron Sorkin drama about the backstage goings-on at a “Saturday Night Live”-type show was going to be cancelled at any minute. Instead, NBC announced Friday that it had renewed “Studio 60” for the rest of the 2006-7 television season.
“I am pleased to show our support for this outstanding and ambitious effort from executive producers Aaron Sorkin and Thomas Schlamme,” NBC entertainment president Kevin Reilly said in a statement about the show starring Matthew Perry, Bradley Whitford and Amanda Peete. “From the start, they have delivered the superb show that we wanted. The critical support has been rock-solid and there is a passionate core audience. We can’t wait for what’s going to come in the remainder of the season.”
About that core … “Studio 60” has been averaging 9.8 million viewers Mondays at 10 p.m. — a little better than half the 17.8 million who tune in to watch perps and David Caruso butcher bodies and lines on the No. 6-rated “CSI: Miami” at the same time on CBS. Nor has the show created anywhere near the amount of buzz that greeted Sorkin’s last TV creation, “The West Wing.” It also doesn’t help that the two shows look and sound a great deal alike, which may make some viewers wonder if they really should care as much about the trauma of trying to write a late-night skit compared to, say, the trauma of picking a new Supreme Court justice.
On the other hand, how can you not want to watch a show that featured Sting playing a lute a few weeks ago? And that wasn’t even the big storyline! Meanwhile, NBC took great pains Friday to point out that “Studio 60’s” audience of 18-to-49 year olds has grown in each of the last two weeks. Even more important, just like “West Wing,” it attracts one of the biggest audiences of folks in homes with incomes over $75,000. You can sell a lot of hedge fund and yacht ads with numbers like that.
And if we know Sorkin, he just might turn that into an episode …
Feeling “Lost”
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Is it June already? Who are the Braves playing? Is it just me or does it feel like the TV season is getting shorter and shorter?
What’s that, it’s only November? Pardonnez-moi. I’m feeling rather lost now that “Lost” has come and gone after a mere six episodes. Yes, yes, I know it’ll be back on Feb. 7, and that this way we don’t have to sit through three repeats for every one new episode. But … still, it feels weird, doesn’t it?
How do you feel about “Lost” going away for three months (and now “Jericho,” too) and how do you plan on filling Wednesday nights? Was last night’s episode a suitable send-off, or just-not-good enough to make you think, “Maybe I won’t miss this so much after all?”
Give us your thoughts. Don’t make us send The Others after you …
CBS Drops a “Jericho” Bomb
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Stealing a page out of “Lost’s” book, CBS has just announced that it will take its sorta-hit new nuclear bomb drama “Jericho” off the air for 10 weeks at the end of this month. What the network terms an “intermission” (which sounds more appropriate for “Hello, Dolly” than this “Goodbye, Civilization” series, but, whatever…) starts after the Nov. 29th episode. Which CBS promises to end with a cliffhanger! The show will return on Feb. 21st and be broadcast without repeats for the rest of the season. But first, there’ll be a recap special on Feb. 14th, because, you know, nothing says “Be my Valentine” like reminding people that the world could end. And that Skeet Ulrich’s would be the last face we’d see …
But never fear, CBS says it will create an online destination where “Jericho”-ites can interact and see recaps and sneak previews. And it has another sex symbol waiting in the wings to fill Skeet’s shoes: “The King of Queens,” starring Kevin James as tubby Doug Heffernan, will take over “Jericho’s” time slot by airing back-to-back new episodes on Wednesdays throughout December. No word on what happens to “King” or 8 p.m. Wednesdays after that. Just think of it as another cliffhanger.
“Just a Four Dollar Gopher…”
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The Entrance Poll.
Leave it to Jon Stewart to come up with the only smart idea of this midterm election: Forget about waiting around for exit polling. Send a team of “Daily Show” correspondents out to poll voters before they ever vote. And by “poll,” I mean following them down the street shouting, “C’mon, don’t be stuck-up! Who are you voting for?” And, “We can do this the easy way or the hard way!”
The Serf felt pretty much the same way after watching the “Midterm Midtacular,” Comedy Central’s live, one-hour election night version of “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report.” There was no need for her to have spent all day and night frantically channel-surfing so as not to miss any of the election news, savvy analysis or nuance. That’s what we call the hard way.
The easy way? Stewart went on the air at 11 p.m. By 11:02 p.m., he’d produced the Cliff’s Notes to understanding this midterm election:
“The Democrats need to pick up 15 seats [in the House] to once again be the controlling party and allow themselves access to corruption and sexual perversity.”
The hard way was flipping between Fox and CNN and MSNBC for hours until enough precinct results trickled in for one of them to finally, cautiously, put a check mark next to some candidate’s name and for the others to instantly follow like lemmings. The easy way was to wait for Stewart to slam a big old ‘LOSER!” across poor old Rick Santorum or Ned Lamont’s face and be done with it.
Hard way: Endless soul-searching on the networks on what these election results mean and how now, the two parties will have to come together to find solutions to our common problems. Easy way: Colbert predicting the results of a big Democratic night on his “Catastrophometer” — Jesus on the red side, Osama on the blue side — and, well, so much for that whole coming-together idea.
The Midterm Midtacular even had the perfect answer to that age-old Election Night question, “How do you handle a problem like Dan Rather?” Stewart brought him out, turned him on for exactly three of his classic Dan-isms — Hillary Clinton ran away with her Senate race “like a hobo with a sweet potato pie,” the Virginia Senate race was “as ugly as a hog lagoon after a bachelor party” — and then poof! He was gone, leaving us hungry for more.
Well, OK, maybe not exactly hungry. But we definitely appreciated it when he told Stewart that being on the Midterm Midtacular made him feel like “a four-dollar gopher in a two-dollar pellet.”
“That’s an insult, right?” Stewart responded.
Yep. And worth every penny.
Joe Burns for President!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Attention, John McCain! You and your Straight Talk Express have met your match in one Joe Burns.
He doesn’t appear to be running for anything, which is probably why he’s the early leader — by far — in terms of making sense on Election Night’s TV-palooza. He showed up near the end of “The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric” in a report on Minnesota. Apparently it’s not only “The Land of 10,000 Lakes.” It’s also “The State Where Everybody Votes (But Not Twice Like In Chicago, Cuz That Would Be Wrong.)” First, reporter Cynthia Bowers dazzled us with the news that 77 percent of Minnesotans voted in 2004 (compared to 60 percent of the rest of the country) and other eyepopping turnout stats. Then Burns told us why:
“If you don’t vote, you can’t complain,” Burns said. “And I LOVE to complain.”
Hey, Joe! Get yourself a blog. Then you could make the following complaints, er, observations about what is and isn’t playing out on your TV tonight:
As the first female permament solo anchor (wow, try saying that three times fast) of one of the big three networks, Couric anchored the evening news Tuesday and the 8 p.m. election update, and so far the Republic has survived. In fact, all three networks have new faces in the anchor chair tonight, but NBC appeared to be hedging its bets a bit. The anchor desk on “The NBC Evening News with Brian Williams” looked like some weird TV take on Mount Rushmore, with Williams sandwiched between the man he replaced — Tom Brokaw — and the man who’s always coiled like a snake, ready to pounce — Tim Russert. The latter was wearing such a bright kelly green tie, the Serf practically had to shield her eyes. Either it’s the new power color in D.C. (replacing Reagan Red after all these years) or it’s some weird sort of subliminal come-on to get us all thinking about money and mumbling, “Must watch ‘Deal or No Deal’… Must Watch ‘Deal or No Deal’…”
Meanwhile, it fell to Brokaw to Sum Things Up by Painting Soaring Word Pictures. Should the Democrats win big, Brokaw opined, we’d all probably end up thinking “the [Iraq] War was a metaphor for what the country feels is the dysfunction in Washington.” Uh-huh. That’s exactly what I was going to say! I must admit, it was a bit of a relief not to hear him still talking about World War II and “The Greatest Generation”; but then he seemed to forget what century this even was. Whatever this election outcome, Brokaw said, “Everything sets the stage for the big prize in two years. 19 — er, 2008.”
If NBC has Mount Rushmore, CNN has the Great Wall. Actually, it’s called the News Wall and it runs the length of the studio and it apparently can show the results of every race in America all at once. I think they’re annexing parts of Canada and turning them into new states just so they can invent more elections to fill up the wall. But why stop the High Tech March into the Future there? Even as we speak, the “CNN Blog Party” is going on at some chi-chi D.C. nightspot. CNN invited many of the top bloggers in the country to come there with their laptops and blog on its “chicken wings for everyone” dime. Along with periodic updates from its reporters there, CNN is showing the whole thing live on Pipeline, the streaming video component of CNN.com. Her own invitation apparently having been lost in the mail, the Serf has been using Pipeline to spy on the party from her own chi-chi blogging perch here high atop the swank AJC Tower in beautiful downtown Atlanta. Were she at all the jealous sort, she would comment on the fact that it looks a lot like partying with the high school A.V. squad. How fortunate that she is not at all the jealous sort…
And finally, if Joe Burns ever needs a running mate, I nominate Fox News’s Chris Wallace. Best known of late as The Man Who Gave Bill Clinton What-For (and vice-versa), Wallace’s duties tonight include making sense for viewers of all the exit polls, Fox phone polls, likely voter surveys and who knows what else is floating around out there. When yet another wrong graphic appeared at just the right time over his shoulder, Wallace dismissed it all with a wave of his hand and a downright revolutionary suggestion:
“Just listen to me,” he said and proceeded to lay it all out for us in good old sensible English.
Just for a second, it was like being in Minnesota.
Permalink | |
Poll Dancing
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The early election results are in and they don’t look good. For America’s math skills.
CNN came on with some exit polling data right after it was allowed at 5 p.m. (Dying to avoid the 2000 debacle in which Al Gore ping-ponged between being the next Leader of the Free World and, well, whatever he is now, all the networks agreed to lock one of their people in a window-less, phoneless room with the exit polling info until it was too late for them to screw things up Tuesday. Unfortunately, we the viewers, were not allowed to vote on who at each network got locked in said room. You got lucky, Geraldo…)
Asked what issue was “most important,” 42 percent of voters said “corruption.” That was followed by 40 percent for terrorism, 39 percent for the economy and 37 percent for Iraq. Which, as we all can see, adds up to … um, wait a minute …. nobody tell me …. well, it’s about a zillion percent. Turns out voters could give more than one answer to the same question, which, if you ask me, isn’t exactly the precedent you want to be setting during an election.
Actually, all this really points to is that there isn’t a lot to talk about until the polls close and some actual voting totals come in. That’s why you’ll be able to watch “Dancing with the Stars” and other shows that make this the greatest country in the world to live in until 10 p.m., when the three broadcast networks all will come on the air with election specials. That’s also why the cable news channels, who are going to have to have this story pried out of their cold, dead hands, spent the day literally talking about the weather. Rain suppresses turnout, the Serf learned by watching MSNBC, only a few hours after she’d fought her way through an Election Day monsoon and crowds of fellow voters to make it into her polling place.
I can’t wait to find out what else TV’s election coverage has to teach me …
Desperate-ly Missed Housewife
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I miss her already.
Carolyn Bigsby was just about the best thing about the much improved-in-its-third-season “Desperate Housewives” — and now they’ve gone and killed her off!
At least I’m assuming she’s dead. She did wind up with a bullet hole in her head at the end of Sunday night’s episode, after all. That was after she’d stormed the supermarket owned by her philandering hubby and, waving a gun around in a half crazy/half “Of course I picked a revolver that didn’t clash with my sweater set and pearls” sorta way, taken him and a bunch of customers hostage.
“Attention, shoppers! We have a special today on not getting shot, but it’s only available at the back of the store,” announced Carolyn, who is (was?) played by Laurie Metcalf, who knows from crazy ladies, having co-starred on “Roseanne” all those years. One minute she was sweet as pie, talking on her cell to someone named “Tish”; the next, she was mowing down Lynette’s (Felicity Huffman) rival in the spur-of-the-moment fashion of a shopper who’d decided she might as well pick up a can of peas as long as she was in that aisle …
“I believe the phrase you’re looking for is ‘Thank you,’” she told a stunned-silent Lynette afterwards.
No, thank YOU, Carolyn. You were deliciously madcap and slightly heartbreaking all at the same time. In the process, you reminded us why “Housewives” was so must-see back there at the beginning. And because we didn’t actually see your corpse being wheeled out of the supermarket Sunday, I’m holding out hope that you’re still clinging to life over there in Frozen Foods ‘till they can figure out a cure for what ails ‘ya.
Failing that, my fondest wish is that you become “Housewives’” new Voice From The Great Beyond. Mary Alice has been filling that role for two-plus seasons, which not only strains credulity — frankly, it’s also become a downer. She’s always going on and on about her suicide, problems on Wisteria Lane, etc., etc. It’s high time she moved on, even if it’s just to haunt the cast of “What About Brian” for awhile. Some 22.5 million viewers (the biggest “Housewives” audience in nine months) can’t have been wrong Sunday.
“Carolyn’s back.” I believe that’s the phrase we’re looking for …
(SPECIAL ELECTION COVERAGE! Check back here Tuesday night, when The Serf will be blogging live on TV’s handling and mishandling of the all-important mid-term elections. Not that she’s drawing any parallels between having to do that and a person being held hostage in a supermarket, mind you …)
Is “Lost” Headed Down the Hatch?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Wednesday is the last time we’ll see “Lost” till next February. ABC insists on referring to this as a “finale,” but that seems awfully presumptuous for something that will have been on the air a grand total of six weeks before it packs up its increasingly convoluted plotlines and leaves us hanging for 3-plus months. But then, I guess the “‘Lost’ — Don’t Let the Door Hit You In the Butt on the Way Out Episode” would’ve been too long to fit in the TV listings.
In any event, I wouldn’t even be bringing this up now, five days ahead of time, had not the Copy Desk “suggested” I do so. If you’ve never worked at a Major News Operation, here’s all you need to know: The Copy Desk is always right. About everything. They know how to make accent marks on the computer and what time it is in Kuala Lumpur and when you should use a colon, as opposed to a semi-colon. So when they say “Blog about ‘Lost’ going off the air, NOW!” as a couple of them did when the Serf innocently walked past them on the way to the coffee pot Thursday, you say “How high?” Or something like that.
“Lost” is going away to deal with the strain of producing, like, 22 whole episodes in a single year. It’s really, really hard on the cast and crew, who have live and work in gorgeous Hawaii and are incredibly well-paid for their troubles, ABC entertainment president Stephen McPherson explained last July. If ABC didn’t split the season, they’d have to air lots of repeats which he said “Lost” fans just hate. But the network just knew they’d love “Day Break,” a new serialized drama starring Taye Diggs, that takes over “Lost’s” time slot Nov. 15.
Personally, I think ABC’s on a suicide mission with “Day Break.” If we couldn’t keep up with all the serialized dramas we already have (“Smith” and “Runaway” have bit the dust, and NBC just announced it’s moving “Kidnapped’s” remaining episodes to the Internet), why on earth would we take on another new one now? Especially with the holidays coming and so many other pressing demands (present shopping, standing in the Pink Pig line) on our time?
On the other hand, I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad idea for “Lost” to take a time-out. For the first time this week, it actually came in second in its time slot, to CBS’s “Criminal Minds.” Maybe three months off, so “Lost” can straighten out some of its needlessly complicated plot lines and viewers can feel guilty for not watching enough, is just what everybody needs.
But not according to the Copy Desk. Two of its sharpest tack members informed the Serf in no uncertain terms that ABC is making a big mistake taking “Lost” off the air now. “It’ll [tick] loyal fans like me off,” said Tack No. 1. And Tack No. 2 doesn’t buy that whole “fans hate repeats” line for a minute. “It’s actually really good to have a chance to go back and see some of that complicated stuff again,” he said.
I’m hoping they’re wrong and that this isn’t the beginning of the end for “Lost.”
On the other hand, I’m the one who has no idea what time it is in Kuala Lumpur …
“Office” Tease
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Ha! Made you look with the title of this entry, didn’t I?
It is I, your little blog tease, bringing you the news that today, Thursday, marks the official start of November Sweeps (for a full story/listings see today’s AJC). That’s the four-week period when the networks throw everything and everyone at the walls to try to get their ratings up so they can charge gi-normous amounts for ads. Although — sigh — they don’t LITERALLY throw anyone at the walls anymore now that we’re all so p.c. That damned Geraldo ruined it for everybody…
So we just have to content ourselves with a slew of guest stars (Jewel’s on “Men In Trees”! Martha Stewart’s on “Ugly Betty,” no doubt using her garden trowel to perform a little home cosmetic surgery); as well as specials real (Madonna in concert, perhaps with sorta-adopted child in the audience) and in-name-only (“Christmas In Rockefeller Center,” snore). Plus the de rigeur Very Important Episodes, although the Serf is just going to have to take Fox’s always classy word for it that the Nov. 18 “America’s Most Wanted: Wedding Dress Rapist Special Edition” qualifies on that count. So…not…watching.
On the other hand, what could be more Very Important than the November 16 episode of “The Office,” where the Scranton and Stamford branches of Dunder-Mifflin will finally merge? Unless I’m the only person still watching this excruciatingly funny sitcom, you know what that means: Pam and Jim, together again, although now his cute Stamford co-worker Karen (Rashida Jones), also will get thrown into the mix. However that scenario resolves itself (I’m not sure which way I’m rooting), it can’t ever be as good as Michael and Oscar’s kiss in the season premiere. But you know one thing for sure: No matter how wonderfully uncomfortable things get in the merged “Office,” Michael (helped by his loyal, certifiably insane henchman Dwight), will find some way to make it worse …
