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December 2006
James Brown Funeral Re-Broadcast
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Happy New Year! Normally you wouldn’t want to start 2007 off by attending a funeral — maybe even for the second time —but James Brown’s public service Saturday in Augusta was a not-to-be-missed (viewing) occasion. CNN, which carried virtually the whole thing live, plans to re-air a one-hour version of the happening — attended by everyone from Michael Jackson and Bootsy Collins to the Revs. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson — from 3-4 p.m. on Monday, New Year’s Day.
That’s all pending breaking news that would need to be covered on CNN instead, of course. And before you say, “Aw, c’mon, what could happen on a holiday,” let’s remember the four-day period that began with Brown’s death on Christmas morning and ended with Saddam Hussein’s execution Friday night. In between, former President Gerald Ford died. And the baby panda got a checkup from Gov. Sonny himself! Whew….
But right now, the Brown program is a go for 3 p.m. Monday. Re-broadcast celebrity funerals. To paraphrase the Godfather himself, it’s just another great thing about “Living in America.”
Best. Funeral. Ever.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Actual footage of Saddam Hussein being led to the gallows in some straight-out-of-the-Dark-Ages video moment. Jerry Ford being flown cross-country in a casket while what seemed like half of the Nixon Adminstration came out of mothballs to reminisce about the bad old days.
It takes a lot to make you want to switch the channel from that.
Enter, James Brown’s public memorial service today in Augusta.
Or, as I like to think of it, the place where Michael Jackson went to look dull and drab.
But let’s give the King of Pop some credit. When last we saw him, he was showing up hours late in his p.j.’s to court to answer to icky sexual accusations, then essentially fleeing the country forever when he was acquitted. Either he loved James Brown a whole lot to haul his America-scorning butt to Augusta, or he was expecting a really good show.
We sure got that. And God bless CNN for showing the whole thing pretty much from start to finish.
“This was riveting stuff and you couldn’t take your eyes off of it,” says Jim LeMay, weekend news director for CNN, which went on the air with the service around 1 p.m. and didn’t break away until the Rev. Jesse Jackson adjourned the event some three hours later. “One you were in it, you were in it.”
Now, some may quibble with that coverage decision, but seriously, how many times can we watch snowflakes falling on Denver (what MSNBC was showing while Brown’s band was shaking its epaulets onstage) or a former Ford aide discussing his decision to pardon Nixon (Fox News)? At the risk of sounding tasteless, Ford’s body was on a plane all afternoon and Saddam’s not going anywhere. Well, nowhere in Hades that TV cameras are allowed.
“It was like the perfect storm [of major news events], but in terms of the order of things, our good fortune was that we didn’t have to say one or the other,” says LeMay. “Regardless, though, we would have done this. This was an extraordinary funeral, or celebration, or whatever you want to call it.”
Call it Hammer time all over again!
That’s right, MC Hammer was there, dancing for an audience filled with famous faces and many more “ordinary” fans (this was James Brown, remember). So was Tomi Rae Hynie, who may or may not be Brown’s widow, and who, in one of those great moments that you thought only happened on “Falcon Crest,” took to the stage to sing, and then crouched down to kiss the casket where the Godfather of Soul was laid out, perfectly coiffed and turned out in a rhinestone-studded jacket and sequined boots.
In fact, somewhere between the time that the stage broke into a raucous chorus of “Super Freak, come on and get funky!” and the Rev. Al Sharpton (aka “The Hardest Working Man in the Funeral Business”) delivered a rafter-rousing eulogy with Jesse Jackson, Dick Gregory and Michael Jackson literally taking a back seat to him, you found yourself wishing all funerals could be like this. Seriously, how great would it be if, at some point during Ford’s solemn rites, they laid a fuschia cape over his sequin-bedecked body and the place went wild with applause, as happened with Brown in Augusta?
Of course, it was Jackson’s shocking appearance that sent this one soaring to about 112 (out of a possible 10) on the Celebrity Rituals Richter Scale. It wasn’t so surprising that he showed up – that had been rumored for several days, along with talk of a possible Puffy drop-by and maybe, supposedly, Spike Lee hiring a plane to fly overhead. Rather, it was the way Jackson showed up: Unveiled, llama-less and absolutely drab-ly clad (well, for him) in a somber black leather suit, plain white shirt and skinny black tie.
It was black-and-white TV at its finest, and to paraphrase CNN’s LeMay, you couldn’t take your eyes off of it. Someone somewhere else could’ve been showing the exclusive video of Saddam swinging in the breeze in technicolor, and it wouldn’t even have been tempting to change the channel.
Well, maybe if Saddam was swaying to “Super Freak, come on and get funky.”
{UPDATE: CNN said Sunday it would re-broadcast a one-hour version of this public service at 3 p.m. on Monday, New Year’s Day. That’s the plan, but of course, if major news breaks, things could change. CNN is also looking into reairing the funeral on Pipeline, it’s online video service. More on that here if it comes to pass. The Serf]
Where to Watch Ford’s Funeral, And More
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
No cable news, only three TV networks … my, how things have changed since Gerald Ford was president. There’ll be plenty of coverage of our 39th president’s funeral rites, starting with today’s private prayer service in California. Here’s a daily viewing guide (Note: All times EST; Information includes that available through Friday morning and the networks all have indicated they may break into normally-scheduled programming to provide additional coverage if warranted): [UPDATED, 4:30 p.m. Friday]
FRIDAY —Private service in Palm Desert, Calif. Coverage of the arrival of the coffin and family members: C-Span (begins at 3:20 p.m.) CBS (begins at 3:20 p.m.) CNN (begins at 3:20 p.m.) Fox News (begins at 3 p.m.)
SATURDAY —Ford’s body departs from California: CNN (begins at 11 a.m.); will also air on CNN Pipeline C-Span (begins at 1:15 p.m.) MSNBC (begins with departure ceremony and continues throughout day until body arrives at U.S. Capitol)
—Ford’s body arrives at the U.S. Capitol to lie in state and a state funeral: ABC (begins at 6 p.m.) C-Span (begins at 5 p.m.) CBS (begins at 5:20 p.m.) CNN (begins at 5 p.m.); will also air on Pipeline Fox News (begins at 5 p.m.) NBC (begins at 6:30 p.m.)
SUNDAY, MONDAY C-Span airs live segments throughout its regular programming day of the Capitol Rotunda where President Ford will be lying in state (begins at 9 a.m.)
TUESDAY —Ford’s body is taken from Capitol to Washington National Cathedral for a National Memorial Service: ABC (begins at 10 a.m.) CBS (begins at 9 a.m.) C-Span (begins at 7 a.m.) CNN (begins at 9 a.m.); will also air on Pipeline Fox News (begins at 8:30 a.m.) MSNBC (begins at 10 a.m.) NBC (begins at 10 a.m.)
—Ford’s body arrives in Grand Rapids, Mich., and lies in repose at the Gerald R. Ford Presidential Museum: C-Span (begins at 2:15 p.m.)
WEDNESDAY — Public viewing in Grand Rapids, Mich., followed by funeral and internment CNN (coverage throughout the day) C-Span (begins at 1 p.m.) Fox News (begins at 1 p.m.) MSNBC (live coverage from funeral site throughout the day)
TV Says “Amen” to James Brown
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Quick! Hurry up and turn on TV One and you can catch James Brown … sort of. To honor the memory of the late, great Godfather of Soul, TV One has switched around episodes — now in the 2:30 p.m. Thursday time slot, it’s an “Amen” rerun in which Deacon Frye (the singular Sherman Hemsley) impersonated Brown singing “Living in America.”
Even better, Brown himself — the real deal — shows up at 9 a.m. Friday on another episode of “Amen.” It’s the two-part series finale, with Brown guest starring in the second part. And it’s just one of many different ways that television is choosing to honor the Hardest Working Man in Show Business over the next few days.
First, the funeral (that is, the public ceremony honoring Brown Saturday in Augusta): The all-news cable channels are still working on their coverage plans at this moment, while the local network affiliates say they’ll cover events in the course of their newscasts. Same for VH1 and MTV, which plan to air news briefs and some online features.
Then there are the specials looking at Brown’s life and legacy: On Friday at 10 p.m. GPB (the major public television network here in Georgia) re-airs the excellent American Masters film, “James Brown: Soul Survivor.” From his humble beginnings and unmatched showmanship, the funk music he helped create and the Civil Rights era he helped provide the soundtrack for, to interviews with everyone from Little Richard to Chuck D, it’s all here. Meanwhile, BET has two different Brown specials slated to run several times over the next few days. “Soul Brother # 1: Remembering James Brown” debuts Saturday at 9 p.m. (re-airing 2 a.m. and 9 a.m. Sunday, and 11:30 p.m. Monday). At 9:30 a.m. Sunday, it’s “The Godfather of Soul: Celebrating the Life of James Brown,” BET’s recap of the various Brown memorial events. That re-airs at 11 p.m. Monday.
Finally, TV is dipping back into its archives to showcse other examples of Brown at his best — that is, when he was being James Brown, albeit in the unlikeliest of settings. Friday at 10 a.m., TV One has a classic episode of “Showtime at the Apollo,” which Brown guest-hosted. That’s followed at 11 a.m. by a rerun of “New York Undercover,” the gritty cop drama in which Brown somehow showed up as the musical guest (“Wait, stop or I’ll sing “I Feel Good!”)
But wait, it gets better! GSN — aka, the Game Show Network — has come up with an old “What’s My Line” in which Brown was the mystery guest! It first aired in November 1968, and featured Arlene Francis, Phyllis Newman, Gawn Grainger (don’t ask me, I have no idea who that is) and Soupy Sales trying to guess Brown’s identity. It airs at 3:30 a.m. Monday on GSN (right after one at 3 a.m. starring a then little-known congressman, Gerald Ford, in case you care).
Soupy Sales helping to send of James Brown. That sounds just about right for a man who broke all the molds, twice….
The Apprentice and the Master
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
This just in: Miss USA gets to keep her crown!
At a press conference, Donald Trump — who owns the Miss Universe Organization, which includes Miss USA — just announced that Tara Conner is getting a second chance at standing for innocence, purity and all that is good about America.
The 20-year-old had been under intense tabloid scrutiny for reported underage drinking and other bad behavior. Saying Conner had agree to undergo rehab, the Trumpster said he thought she could be a great example for others if she succeeds in turning herself around.
Then Conner made a tearful statement in which she thanked Trump and told the assembled media horde she’d fully expected him to “fire” her.
KA-CHING! A new season of “The Apprentice” starts on Jan. 7. Could Trump have bought better advertising for his ratings-challenged baby and his “You’re fired!” catchphrase than this “crisis,” which has dragged out for more than a week now? Imagine the ratings bonanza if she makes a fresh-from-treatment appearance on the show (And don’t tell me it’s already been cut, taped, printed. For something like this, they can always call the contestants back for a reshoot)
Or is that an incredibly cynical view? Maybe Trump, who everyone credits with being a good father, really is just trying to help Conner. In any event, Tuesday’s press conference proved one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt: Miss USA may still have her title, but when it comes to PR Donald Trump always has and always will wear the crown.
Oprah Pays It Forward … Into Prime Time
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Having turned daytime television into a strict “no contest” ratings race years ago, Oprah Winfrey now is setting her sights on prime time. ABC said Friday it was developing two new series with Harpo Productions (aka Oprah Inc.). An ABC release described them as “alternative prime time series,” which is just a nicer way of saying “reality shows.” Nobody likes to think of Oprah getting her hands dirty in the same genre that’s produced “Chains of Love,” after all.
First up will be “Oprah Winfrey’s The Big Give,” an eight-episode series in which 10 contestants “will be challenged to take the money and resources they are given and multiply them to come up with the most powerful, sensational, emotional and dramatic ways to give to others.” Which pretty much sounds like an extended version of that recent episode of “The Oprah Winfrey Show” where she gave audience members $1,000 apiece and challenged them to “pay it forward.” With one key difference: Each episode of “The Big Give” will feature something called the “Big Catch, ” intended to test their nerve, drive, ingenuity and passion. And eliminate one of them every episode. Which sounds more like “Survivor,” although we imagine that when Oprah snuffs out your torch, she does it in an incredibly soothing way involving soft music, self-empowerment and Nate Berkus doing a complete makeover of your home.
The other series is tentatively titled “Your Money or Your Life.” The bad news is that you have to be a family in crisis to play that one. The good news is, if you are and if you agree to go on prime time national TV to demonstrate your overall miserableness, Oprah sends in an “expert action team” to effect a dramatic makeover.
No information was provided on air dates or if Winfrey would appear on either show. Or if the “expert action team” has already been deployed to start working on that wacky Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes family …
Katie Couric Pages CNN’s Dr. Gupta
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The doctor is in….at the “CBS Evening News with Katie Couric.”
CNN’s ultimate slacker, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, will contribute reports over the next year to Couric’s newscast — effective “immediately,” according to CBS News and Sports president Sean McManus. Gupta will continue working full-time for CNN, while contributing as many as 10 reports to CBS.
With CBS mired in third place among the network evening news shows, Couric-bashers may take this as a sign that she and her show are in need of emergency triage. But really, it’s just that the smart-as-a-whip and telegenic Gupta wasn’t working hard enough. After all, the Atlanta-based brain surgeon is CNN’s chief medical correspondent and associate chief of neurosurgery at Grady Memorial Hospital, where he still performs regularly scheduled surgery one day a week. He was an embedded reporter in Iraq with the U.S. Navy’s medical unit (he performed emergency surgery several times), covered Hurricane Katrina and the tsunami and, oh, yes, he writes a column for “Time” magazine. The man could be doing so much more, right?
At least he’ll find a familiar face at the CBS holiday party. Anderson Cooper recently began contributing to “60 Minutes,” while continuing to work fulltime for the Atlanta-based cable channel. Which makes us wonder, how long before Larry King starts hosting “Survivor?”
As the Golden Globes Turn
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Those foreign critics love them some sex and drugs, don’t they?
Pot smokers….bigamists….bed-hoppers…..They cleaned up big time in today’s Golden Globe nominations for TV. Nobody really knows who the esteemed members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association are, but it’s clear they swoon over the non-G-rated goings on on “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Desperate Housewives.” I don’t really have a quibble with either shows’ nod for Best Drama and Comedy respectively — except that I might have put “Grey’s” in the comedy category as well. A lady pregnant with twins by different fathers? A couple who the good docs have to forcibly UNCOUPLE after they try to have sex? Please, we’re not exactly talking Dr. Schweitzer-worthy drama here.
Meanwhile, the foreign critics demonstrated their well-established penchant for nominating “quirky” shows and performances. And by “quirky,” I mean get your mind out of the gutter, Globes. HBO’s bigamist series “Big Love” was kind of interesting at first, but once you get past the “Oh, wow, how does he figure out which of his three wives to sleep with each night?” theme, it’s pretty much just another show about a dysfunctional family . So’s “Brothers & Sisters,” when you get right down to it, and that ABC show is actually more fun to watch. PLUS you don’t have to pay for premium cable. But “Big Love” got all the love — best drama, best actor (Bill Paxton) — whereas “B&S” got shut out. The Globes should’ve liked, really liked Sally Field in the lead actress drama category over “Grey’s” Ellen Pompeo. Clearly Sally should spend more time in bed on “Brothers & Sisters.”
And please, enough with the Globes’ fawning over Mary Louise Parker and “Weeds.” We get it. It’s a show about grownups smoking pot in the suburbs. That’s soooo edgy. In, say, 1974.
The nominators must’ve been smoking something funny when they came up with this year’s “Best Series - Comedy or Musical” category. For starters, there’s the name. There aren’t any musical series that I can think of, except maybe for “American Idol.” Which is hilarious in its own right, especially during the audition episodes or whenever Paula Abdul opens her mouth. So where’s its nomination? Oh, that’s right, it had to go to “Weeds.” On the plus side, the delightful “Ugly Betty” got a nod, along with “Entourage” and “The Office,” making it this year’s most competitive, hippest race. The Serf would’ve liked to have seen ABC’s “Men In Trees” nominated here, but she guesses she should just be grateful that wonderful Anne Heche show is still on the air.
“Ugly Betty” star America Ferrerra also got a well-deserved nomination. In fact, you gotta give the Golden Globes grudging respect for acknowledging new shows and performers right out of the gate — unlike, say, the Emmys, which is still nominating “Everybody Loves Raymond” for awards years after it went off the air. It was lovely to see “Heroes” get nominations for Best Drama and Best Supporting Actor (the irresistible, irrepressible Masi Oka). And while Alec Baldwin isn’t a newcomer, his Jack Donaghy on “30 Rock” is one of the most unpredictably fun characters to come along in a long time and well-deserving of a Best Actor-Comedy nod.
Should “Heroes” have gotten more nominations? What about “Jericho” getting shut out? And should the nominating committee have someone else start their cars for awhile, what with “The Sopranos” and James Gandolfini getting ignored for Best Drama and Actor? Tell us what you think the Golden Globes got right or wrong.
Take That, O.J.!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
That O.J. Simpson book is back in play … literally.
Cable network GSN has just launched a new game on its web site (gsn.com) called “Throw the Book at O.J.” In its great, highminded tradition of creating online games tied to news scandals — “So You Think You Can Drive Mel?” “Foley’s Follies” etc. — the Channel Formerly Known as “Game Show Network” has created a cartoon version of O.J. and sent him scampering around a bookstore. Players take aim from a podium bearing the title of that unpublished tome, “If I Did It,” and rack up points for hitting the slippery former Heisman Trophy winner with books.
But it’s not as onesided as it seems. No, there’s no cartoon version of Kato Kaelin (um, is there any other kind?) lurking in the online bushes to get in the middle of things. Instead, O.J. hurls footballs at the player. Three hits and you’re out. But considering the alternative, guess it’s not that bad just to have to start the game over …
It figured it was only a matter of time before another network stepped into the O.J. breach created when Fox bowed to public pressure and decided not to air its “If I Did It” interview with Simpson last month. No, it doesn’t cost you anything to play “Throw the Book at O.J.” — not unless you count the loss of dignity that results from giggling over a game that harkens back to such a tragic incident. Meanwhile, a few more of us now know what GSN is. Those of us weren’t already watching “Match Game” reruns three times a day, that is…..
Gunn-Shy Project Runway?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It’s the worst possible news for TV fans: Entertainment Weekly’s web site today reports that questions are circling about whether Tim Gunn might say auf wiedersehn to “Project Runway.”
It seems all of “Runway’s” usual unusuals — host Heidi Klum and judges Michael Kors and Nina Garcia — have already signed contracts to appear on a fourth season of the hotter-than-any-blowdryer-in-the Tresemme-hair-salon reality show for aspiring fashion designers. Only Gunn, the man who looks and soothes like a Q-tip with his “Make it work”-style mentoring of the often batty contestants, hasn’t yet signed on the dotted line.
Gunn isn’t talking. But he’s previously made it known that his fulltime job as fashion department chair at Parsons New School for Design comes first. Therein may lie the rub: School’s not out for many months yet, meaning Gunn theoretically wouldn’t be ready to even start shooting “Runway” again till next May. But can America wait until next summer or even later to see the successor of Senor SurlyPants (aka Season 3’s nasty winner, Jeffrey Sebelia) crowned?
The Serf says “Runway” wouldn’t be “Runway” without Gunn. If that means a delay, so be it. We wait decades for each new season of “The Sopranos” to come along, so what’s the diff? And while that may be the first and last time anyone equates Tony Soprano and the ever-elegant Gunn in print, you get my drift.
Make it work, people!
“24” 24/7
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Quit whining, Jack Bauer. Your day doesn’t seem quite so difficult now that it’s clear how much work we’re all going to have to do just to keep up with the “24” Season 5 DVD.
Along with every episode from the Best Drama Emmy-winning season, the 7-disc set that was released Tuesday (Dec. 5) contains never-before-seen footage which is accessible ONLY by inserting the last and extra-special disc into a computer! That site will be updated with new footage each and every Tuesday for 24 straight weeks: This week, it’s a tour of the CTU set; next week, “24’s” Stunts and Special FX departments discuss how they do what they do. And and on it goes, with various Tuesdays bringing us everything from exclusive footage of and cast interviews at the DVD release party to a sneak peek at photos contained in the coffee table book, “24: Behind the Scenes.” No word on if and when we’ll stick in the disc and get an exclusive look at “24” star Kiefer Sutherland having the tires on his car rotated, but give it time …
Speaking of time, it’s hard to imagine having any to watch actual TV what with all this going on. Still, “24” returns for Season 6 with four new episodes airing in two-hour blocs on January 14 and 15. “24” sort of invented this idea of releasing the previous season on DVD just a little bit before the new season starts, as a way of sucking in new viewers and building antipation among more veteran fans. Now they’re raising the ante even more by coming up with ways of keeping us watching on-air AND online for much of the winter and spring.
Can we keep up? That depends … Are we going to get to see Keifer rotating his tires?
Rachael Ray’s Empire Grows
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Is there no end to Rachael Ray’s mad power grab?
The multi-tasking TV chef has a hotter-than-hot new magazine and syndicated daytime program to go along with her gazillion top-rated cookbooks and Food Network shows. And come Thursday, the woman who makes Martha Stewart look like a half-comatose slacker will extend her empire into Outer Space. When the space shuttle Discovery takes off from the Kennedy Space Center, a Ray-prepared buffet of food will take off with it.
Apparently, Tang is so 1960s. Now, the space shuttle astronauts will have their choice of Ray’s Spicy Thai Chicken with Red Peppers & Basil, Swedish Meatballs or Vegetable Curry in a Hurry. (We know what you’re thinking: How much of a hurry can anyone be when they’re lightyears removed from home and such mundane tasks as having to take out the garbage or negotiate the traffic on Spaghetti Junction?)
Ray, alas, will remain back here on Earth. Who knows, maybe her mega-watt smile kept threatening to seep out of her spacesuit and melt the shuttle’s protective heat shields. But you gotta figure it’s only a matter of time before some enterprising talk show host figures out how to blast off and broadcast from space. Our money’s on Oprah getting there first. Maybe she’ll take Dr. Phil with her. And forget to bring him back …
Coming Up on the Boob Tube
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be brain surgeons.
There’s no future in it. Not on tee-vee, anyway. After just three outings, CBS has pulled off the schedule “3 lbs,” its medical drama about a couple of brilliant, but-could-not-be-more-different-personality-wise type brain surgeons. Which means much of America will never get the chance to find out that the title referred to the fact that the average adult brain weighs about 3 pounds. CBS will fill the 10 p.m. Tuesday time slot with reruns of its popular crime dramas for much of December. But first, in place of “3 lbs’” plummeting ratings this Tuesday, the Tiffany Network will give us the plummeting everything of the “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.”
OK, that makes it official: Brains are out, breasts are in. (‘Though probably not too much or very often, judging by the Victoria’s Secret commercials that have been airing of 8-foot-tall models strutting down the runway wearing very little in the vast regions between their stiletto heels and their … oh, let’s be generous and call them their two-pound brains.) Adding to the overall scholarly air of the “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show,” the special “headliner” act (translation: he gets to wear clothes) is Justin Timberlake, performing songs from his new CD “FutureSex/LoveSounds.”
Uh, wait a minute. Wasn’t it just a few years ago that we were told the world was going to hell on a banana peel because the same Monsieur Timberlake had accidentally exposed Janet Jackson’s breast during the Super Bowl halftime show. Which was carried live on the very same CBS network? After all the attention that incident got, it’s hard to believe any of them would want to have anything more to do with half-naked women. What if millions of people and the media all are watching Tuesday night and something goes “wrong” again …
… Oh, I get it. Maybe there still are some brain surgeons working in TV after all.
