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Low I.Q. in High-Def
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Q: Are you smarter than a fifth grader? A: Clearly not, if you’re reading this blog.
Oh, come on now, the Serf’s just kidding! She’s well aware that the folks who regularly read her random ramblings on the noble art of television are all rocket scientists and the kind of people who have to downsize their vocabulary simply to be understood at Mensa meetings. Which is why you’ll doubtless have absolutely no interest in Fox’s newest programming gambit:
It’s a quiz show called “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?” and it is specifically NOT meant to measure intelligence. Quite the opposite in fact. It is — and here I am quoting directly from the press release issued by the Network Big Cheeses, because clearly I am not smart enough to make up something like this — designed “to test adults’ lack of knowledge.”
[At this point I feel compelled to emphasize that this is the Fox broadcasting network of “Joe Millionaire” and “Temptation Island” fame, not the Fox News cable network of Geraldo Rivera and Bill O’Reilly fame. People often get the two mixed up, but I think it’s important to distinguish between the network that wants to know how smart its viewers are, and the one that doesn’t].
OK, back to our show. Created by “Survivor” guru Mark Burnett, “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?” aims at elevating contestants’ sense of self-esteem by putting them back in a classroom setting and quizzing them on the sorts of things it was essential to know in elementary school: Things like where Mount Rushmore is located, the names of all five Great Lakes, what’s on the governor’s Sonny Do list, etc., etc. OK, I made that last one up, but all the rest are bona fide questions that promise to crop up on this exciting show.
The series debuts on Tuesday, Feb. 27 and runs for six episodes. Typically for Fox, they almost all air on different nights or at different times from any of the other episodes, so good luck to any of you who want to find them. I only have a Master’s degree, so figuring out Fox’s scheduling strategy obviously is way beyond me.
There’s no word on how they decide who wins on this show or what they get for their efforts. Maybe they get to take home the rest of the class’s papier mache model of Plymouth Rock, or become the newest “American Idol” judge. Personally, I think just knowing that you’re the adult with the biggest “lack of knowledge” should be reward enough.
But that still doesn’t tell us how dumb the people watching are. Oh wait, yes it does …
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By Jt
January 31, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this
I don’t think this show will last, for one it Sounds very Boring, And Two, Of course the kids will know more about geography and history questions seeing that they study these things on a daily basis, those who’ve been out of school for a while tend to forget alot of those queations.
By stoiko
January 31, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this
JT - I don’t know where your kids got ot school, but in Gwinnett they are not taught about America….ask them about any foreign culture and they can rattle off answers without even blinking.
By lovelyliz
January 31, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this
People like to complain about the crap on television, but as long as crap is what we are watching & supporting, then crap is what are are going to get
By jksteacher
January 31, 2007 1:00 PM | Link to this
A school that doesn’t teach about “America”? (I’ll assume you mean the United States.) This means that 1)a school/teacher is clearly violating state mandated standards or 2)you are using hyperbole to point out that students learn about other cultures and histories and not just the history of the U.S. I feel secure that students in different classes and different grades learn different things at different time, not just our common, national past.
As for not blinking, they should get to an ophthamologist.
By Shiney
January 31, 2007 1:14 PM | Link to this
I THING THIS IS CRAYZEE CUZ NO WAY A 5TH GRAYDER IS SMRATER THEN ME
By Boo-ya
January 31, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this
So am I smarter than a 10 year old white kid, or a 22 year old black guy?
By Koz
January 31, 2007 1:38 PM | Link to this
jksteacher you’re so smart but you can’t even spell ophthalmologist correctly.
By Jeffrey D. Knight
January 31, 2007 1:41 PM | Link to this
This reminds me of a short-lived series on Game Show Network(a/k/a GSN)called WinTuition, which was hosted by Marc Summers. The game involved asking questions from every school grade level 1st through 12th, with the winner getting a chance at major scholarship money in the last round of the competition.
By Old Physics Teacher
January 31, 2007 1:53 PM | Link to this
Hahaha, This will be just another version of the Gong Show or Jay Leno’s Jaywalking. The adults will all look worse than the kids, and all the viewers will laugh and know they’re smarter than the poor souls on the show. The problem is that, if they were on the show themselves, they would also look just like those poor guys.
By an
January 31, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this
Never fails! There is always someone who will pitch a racist slant to anything and everything! Get a life.
By MrLiberty
January 31, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this
Since the US ranks near the bottom of the list of industrialized nations in school achievement, why not have the adults have to answer questions that 5th graders in the better performing countries have to answer.
And what about homeschooled 5th graders in this country? I can bet that would be embarassing to everyone.
Most adults have no idea how their government REALLY operates, how the Federal Reserve and the federal government are destroying their future with inflationary money creation, how much corrupt money is flowing into the pockets of Haliburton management courtesy of our illegal war in Iraq, how the government’s involvement in healthcare since the 1960’s has directly caused all of the problems they are claiming they can fix today, and so many other important pieces of information.
Who cares how stupid adults are when compared to 5th graders. What is scary is how completely uneducated all americans are relative to the “educated populace” that Thomas Jefferson was counting on to keep this country free.
By okko
January 31, 2007 3:11 PM | Link to this
this is rather funny. its like debate over a show.. according to fcboe.org, walmart donation helps special students. link
By George W. Bush
January 31, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this
No, I no i am knot.
By gloria
January 31, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this
Shiney - Willz you merry mee?
By Rat
January 31, 2007 6:43 PM | Link to this
Boo-ya is a b***. Keep those ignorant ass comments to urself
By Sean
January 31, 2007 8:50 PM | Link to this
I’m no 5th grader, but I bet my lunch money that jill vejnoska is a liberal. The 1st give-a-way is her slamming of the Fox network. All lib’seem to think that it’s ‘right’ wing (pun intended) and see nothing wrong w/ the Dan Rathers of the world. The 2nd clue is this blog has been up hear over half the day and there are only a handfull (or less) of posts; It’s going over kinda like the Al Franken show.
By Proust
January 31, 2007 9:27 PM | Link to this
I may not be as smart as a fifth grader, but I can certainly beat him up for his lunch money…
By Stephen Hawkins
January 31, 2007 9:52 PM | Link to this
I’m smarter than a 5th grader.
By dan
January 31, 2007 9:59 PM | Link to this
I get more sex than a fifth grader
By dan
January 31, 2007 9:59 PM | Link to this
Except for maybe the 22 year old black guy