MOMania

By Kristin

November 17, 2008 6:51 AM | Link to this

Wow, does hubby have some anger issues! Did it occur to him to help you through this rough patch of cooking instead of being ugly?

What, if anything, did he do to help prepare the meal?

He sounds like a terrible host - it was at his house!

He is an embarrassment to your and his family.

What a jerk. Maybe he can work at his VP job on Tgiving and leave the rest of you alone.

By Kristin

November 17, 2008 6:54 AM | Link to this

Wow, does hubby have some anger issues! Did it occur to him to help you through this rough patch of cooking instead of being ugly?

What, if anything, did he do to help prepare the meal?

He sounds like a terrible host - it was at his house!

He is an embarrassment to your and his family.

What a jerk. Maybe he can work at his VP job on Tgiving and leave the rest of you alone.

By Kristin

November 17, 2008 6:54 AM | Link to this

Wow, does hubby have some anger issues! Did it occur to him to help you through this rough patch of cooking instead of being ugly?

What, if anything, did he do to help prepare the meal?

He sounds like a terrible host - it was at his house!

He is an embarrassment to your and his family.

What a jerk. Maybe he can work at his VP job on Tgiving and leave the rest of you alone.

By kellye

November 17, 2008 7:02 AM | Link to this

He sure could have supported his wife, what is the most important in having families together when a problem arose

By I am glad...

November 17, 2008 7:03 AM | Link to this

…to know that I am not the only husband who can be a real pain in the keester without really meaning to be - and it is good to know that your life is normal like the rest of us! We husbands mean well, but sometimes the Mars / Venus thing just happens at the most inopportune time!

By sandy

November 17, 2008 8:05 AM | Link to this

You needed someone to TELL YOU that you could offer something that was ready to eat by then—APPETIZERS????? You needed your Husband to suggest that? You never thought to give them a morsel? How about cutting some of the turkey off of the OUTSIDE of the bird and serving that? You knew it was “done” to temperature! Geez. No wonder your Husband got really mad at you. I can picture it. And it would have taken 10 minutes to move the tables back in, but YOU were being inflexible and stubborn. And your Mother! (Your wrote: My mother said tables are set. It’s too hard to move everything. Just keep it out there. So we did.) And since when is a 10-15 degree temp drop ODD in November???? It seems like you decided that since things were not going your way, they would not be allowed to go anyone else’s way either and you made everyone wait, painfully, until your “vision” was finally reality. You and your Husband share the blame on this one.

By motherjanegoose

November 17, 2008 8:16 AM | Link to this

Theresa…I feel your pain. There are those who know how to be gracious when the situation warrants and those who do not.

This is why I am teaching children NOW how to say PLEASE AND NO THANK YOU when they are offered something at Thanksgiving. I wrote a song and am including it in my FOOD unit that I do this month. The teachers are thrilled, as children today do not have manners and they will grow up into boorish adults. We show various plates of food with pictures and they have to respond and the proper time, if they would like some or not!

I have been cooking Tday dinner for over 20 years, as my in laws have NEVER been to our house ever in the nearly 26 years that we have been married. We traveled there many times but finally realized that the road went 2 ways and sometimes we preferred to be in Ga vs cold and snow.

My parents have come a few times and of course there were random upsets but that is the way things go.

My husband was chatting with his sister a few weeks ago about a recipe their Grandma uses ( she is 93 and on the way out) …home made noodles. They do not make gravy ( in his family) …she makes noodles from scratch and boils them like dumplings…they pour these over the mashed potatoes. While I am fine eating them…I do not like them on mashed potatoes and prefer light gravy. I overheard him sharing the fact that we ( in our family heres in Ga) alway have GRAVY and not noodles on potatoes. I reminded him that this is not MY grandma and thus I did not grow up eating these for T day.

Having been across the country for business, I realize that not EVERYONE eats the same things….LOL.

So…in my book, whomever is paying for the food, shopping for it cooking it and serving it ( me) gets first choice at how the meal will proceed and if anyone complains, they can handle the entire thing next time! Whew…that would be super! We could have enchiladas for all I care!

FYI…I am lucky that my daughter loves to cook ( she is 16) and is already scouting her recipes for the big day. She made most of the food last year and I was so proud of her. Not many her age are into cooking but she is!

Those who have actually done all the work ( like you) can feel your pain. Want to join us?

By Kathy

November 17, 2008 8:27 AM | Link to this

I get out of having to cook by running the Atlanta 1/2 Marathon on Thanksgiving day. My dad cooks and we go to his house late in the afternoon (after my post-run Waffle House and nap!). We do Tday with my inlaws on Friday or Saturday (depending on when the other family comes into town).

I am sure that one of these days I will have to step up to the plate (no pun intended) and cook. I am also sure that I will mess up something! For now I will let everyone else do the cooking!!

By Theresa

November 17, 2008 8:27 AM | Link to this

Sandy — I’m trying to think if we had anything small out to nibble on — I don’t know why I didn’t think to do it — I guess my assumption was everything would be served on time — hadn’t planned on teh hic-up — a good lesson in planning — on the porch — it looked so beautiful all set and fall leaves all around — honestly i was burning up from cooking so I didn’t understand —I will have appetizers this year and will leave the windows open while we’re cookign so we don’t get so hot — I wouldn’t have a problem with my husband’s objections if he had just expressed himself better and less meanly.

By motherjanegoose

November 17, 2008 8:42 AM | Link to this

Another tip for you Theresa..get one of those turkey bags and put your turkey in it. An older friend recommended this to me ( a few years back) and I DID raise an eyebrow but once I used one…I am sold…no worries, no basting etc. Off to the kiddies. Quick question…Sandy, have you ever cooked the entire meal yourself…just wondering.

By MomsRule

November 17, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

I’ve hosted many times and enjoy hosting holiday meals. I’ve never had any “major” issues but I must say, I think I’d have to just roll with the flow even if things fell apart. It is a holiday and if you are fortunate enough to have family and friends around…what the heck? Roll with it! Perfection is nice but some of the best memories are made when things don’t go perfectly! A fond childhood memory of my siblings and I…Most of the dinner rolls were burned every TGiving and Christmas. By the time Mom put them in the oven she’d get distracted with other tasks/visiting and invariably forget them. They were never burned to the point of us not being able to eat them at all but certainly not the soft flaky lightly browned breads we were expecting. Over cooked burned rolls became tradition. After a few years my brother came to expect them that way, and she then had to start “burning” some on purpose just for him. Good times!

By Sugar

November 17, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this

The holidays make me happy that I have a very small family. Just hubby, our kids, my mom and my brother’s family. We all go to my Mom’s and she does everything. That woman is remarkable. 78 years old and still puts on a spread at the holidays!!!!

She won’t let anyone help until the very last minute when everything is coming together. While she is cooking, we all watch the football games and put a puzzle together.

My husband’s parents go to Europe for November and part of December, so we don’t have to worry about them at Thanksgiving. We only have one place to go, and everyone is there.

By sandy

November 17, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

MJG: Yes, I have shouldered the exact same level of responsibility as Theresa describes many, many times. In principle, I would never treat guests (especially for an important event like TG) the way it seems her guests were treated. You don’t have to have any special level of awareness to realize that your guests are cold and hungry. And if your Husband is THAT mad, perhaps you ought to give that emotion enough weight to consider that their might be SOMETHING you can do to help everyone else, who is depending on you for food and comfort, out. When anyone around you gets THAT mad, it should give you a clue. Her article in fact lets us all know she DID have a clue, even though she backtracks at times and pretends she didn’t. I think she knew people were hungry and cold and just wanted to try to make it happen her way even as they were made to wait in pain. Cold and hungry sucks. Just sayin’! Theresa is great but if you read regularly, you know she will make excuses for her behavior sometimes. This is a case in point. You never let your guests be hungry and cold. Always offer people something to eat if you are late with Dinner. She said so herself that the rest of the food was ready. Then she said she didn’t know if anything else could have been eaten. Uh-huh. she wrote: “We had almost all the other dishes ready to go and were on time to serve” Then in her reply to me she wrote :”I’m trying to think if we had anything small out to nibble on” Well if all of the sides are ready, pick something and offer it. Or say “Hey, we may not eat for a while, does anyone want a bite of some of the sides or are you OK?” I can see how it all played out. But, big deal, she learned from it.

By motherjanegoose

November 17, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

Sandy,….my hat is off to you.

I just know that there are several who have no idea what it is like to cook the meal yourself. set the tables, and then have an OOOPS that you did not expect.

I have not had the luxury of letting others do all the cooking in years. I love my step mom a lot but she is not a cook. We went to Florida one time and the kids said to me on the way home, “that was not like a real Thanksgiving dinner….that was more like a M-F dinner at out house. We have more food every day than she did….” Of course, I would NEVER say this to her as I try my best to be gracious…I acknowledge that I am not ALWAYS good at it…hahaha!

I just listened to a Lake Wobegan book ( while in Wisconsin) on Cd story about all of those grannies who are SICK of putting on the big holiday spread and secretly pining to be on a cruise eating chilean bass for the holidays…not all grannies really WANT to do it…some are stuck doing it as no one else has offered.

Out the door NOW….

By new mom

November 17, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

I think experiencing a holiday nightmare is a rite of passage…who among us hasn’t screwed up something royally and learned from it? :) I have been there, not necessarily with a turkey (that ‘honor’ is reserved for my husband’s mother and grandmother) but one year I baked a special cake for Christmas for his sweet grandfather, a special request. This was 13 years ago, when we were first married, and I was waaaay more neurotic than I am now, imagine that! Anyway, my beautiful bundt cake wouldn’t come out of the pan at all. I had chunks attached to the pan, and I cried and cried. My husband tried to calm me down (big mistake, never say “calm down” to someone upset!) but I eventually just sliced it on a platter. No one complained, in fact they said it was delicious. I also decided to put a few slices in a container for his grandfather, to ensure he would get his share, with a big bow. I learned more than anything to go with the flow, take a deep breath, and chill.

I have also learned the value of having a dip and crackers out. Even if it’s just some tortillas and salsa, something for people to munch on while they wait. Sounds like Theresa now has that idea in her tool belt too. :)

I do however think her husband needs to work on more than his ‘communication skills’. The fact that she doesn’t actually remember him apologizing says a lot…Even if he’s frustrated, he shouldn’t take it out on her, especially in front of family members. That’s just humiliating. He could have easily pulled her aside and mentioned it in private!

Seriously, your spouse should be your biggest fan and encourager, the one person who will stick up for you and support you when you are stressed, in a ‘tight spot’ (oh brother reference) or just need backup. We all need that in life, and if our spouse isn’t that person, who will be?

By la

November 17, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

For my first thanksgivng as a married couple, i forgot to remove the package containing the turkey neck and other parts. i washed the turkey inside and out and i just didn’t see or feel the bag under the skin. dinner was great and we discovered the bag while cutting the turkey into pieces after dinner. we laugh about that now

By Not Martha Stewart

November 17, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

Okay, your husband was in a snit. I’ll give you that. But who in their right mind serves a meal outside in late November? And then refuses to move back indoors when it gets cold? You know, because it’s late November and it’s supposed to be cold?

Would it have killed you to offer appetizers? Even if your husband was being “ugly” to you?

By Sugar

November 17, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

Just roll with the flow. Like New Mom said, we’ve all made mistakes. Some families are more forgiving than others. Mine certainly is. We are not perfect. We do the best we can.

There is also alot of humor in my family. Hardly anyone gets mad, we all tend to just let it roll and go with the flow.

So ya messed up, no biggie. My mom always has appetizers and cocktails ready for us when we arrive. And we may be allowed to bring something, but usually not. Like I said, my Mom loves doing this stuff. I think it makes her feel needed.

By la

November 17, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

Theresa:

I would suggest not buying a very large turkey. They take to long to cook. Serve one around 15 pounds and have second meet. Also, I typically cook the turkey 1st .. around 6 am. Then I have the dripping to make dressing (yes, vs. stuffing). The turkey is served room temp. with lots of hot gravy.

By Becky

November 17, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

We have always had appetizers at our house..To me it’s just common sense..But my family has also had it share of boo boos..I agree, why would you even think about serving dinner outside in Nov.?

If you plan it right, cooking an entire TG dinner isn’t that tough, just don’t think that you have to cook a hundred different dishes..

By Stan

November 17, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

I can understand how you wouldn’t think of serving the pasta on your own. You were probably VERY focused on the turkey and trying to get everything to come out perfect. I’ve been there myself. If I remember correctly when I cook my turkeys they tend to rise in temp quickly at first then slow later in the process. I may have that backwards…haven’t done a bird in a year. Make sure you put the probe in to a goood depth, not too deep or too shallow, that will really alter the readings.

Best tip, relax. It’s not really that big of a deal. If something doesn’t turn out just right, so what, have a chuckle and move on and enjoy the rest of it.

By jct

November 17, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

Thanks for a column to help me vent…

The first turkey day with D’s family was a nightmare. I come from a family where TG is a big deal. Everyone eats at the table with no TV at 1:30 p.m. We catch up and tell stories. For the kids it’s the time when you learn how to eat a fully set table. After the meal we will all watch football together.

D’s family likes to eat off of paper plates in front of the TV. There is no talking and the kids don’t learn anything about family history.

I was not prepared for this. I spent my normal two days of cooking. I always take off the Wednesday before and spend that day making the side dishes (2 kinds of winter squash, greens, baked onions, candy sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, turnip, mac and chesse, homemade cranberry sauce, stuffed celery and make salsa for the chips) and desserts (sweet potato pie and apple pie). I love to cook so this is not a big deal.

Now D did not tell me that her family is a bunch of heathens. So I set the table with white table cloth with full setting of china down to the finger bowls. Set the table just like my grandmother trained me as a child. The food is ready to go at 1:30 p.m. I go in and turn off the TV and say dinner is served. They go to the kitchen and ask where the paper plates are located. I saw please use the china that is laid out to use. The complaining starts because they wanted to eat in front of the TV. I stated that I wanted everyone at the table to eat like normal human beings. They entered the dining room and wolfed down the food in 3 minutes flat and then went back to the den and turned the TV back on. They didn’t even clear their own plates.

By this time I am fuming, I will cook all day but I am not your maid. I stated who was going to clean up the kitchen. Nobody moved. But it keeps getting worse…. The little bit of my family who was in attendance were P.O. at their behavior. They helped me clean the kitchen and I left with my family to go to the movies. The kicker is when I got back the kitchen looked it had never been cleaned. Dishes and food everywhere; I told D she needed to get her people out of my house before I went postal. Her family has never been invited back for a holiday. I refuse to cook for people who don’t have any manners.

This year we are going out of state to be with my family. I can’t wait.

By Sugar

November 17, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Here’s a suggestion when it comes time for clean up.

My mother keeps a huge cooler in the carport full of hot soapy water. Once a pot or pan has been used, she puts it in the cooler to soak. Her kitchen is VERY tiny so she moves dirty pots and pans out to the carport into the cooler. When it comes time for cleaning the kitchen, my brother and my husband help her get the dishes out of the cooler and they are ready for the dishwasher.

Keeps the kitchen less cluttered, and clean up is a little faster.

By ccs

November 17, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

We always have a small crowd (5-8 people) and share in preparing the dishes. So far, the worst thing I’ve done is burn the rolls one year. My husband helps out with getting the house ready, setting the table, making an appetizer, etc., even though he doesn’t really do any of the cooking.

By DB

November 17, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Aw, Theresa — Michael was a dork!! You aren’t the short-order chef at the Landmark Grill — you’re his wife, and you were graciously and enthusiastically planning and working to serve HIS family Thanksgiving! He was needlessly embarrassed.

There is no “timetable” for our Thanksgiving dinner — it’s ready when it’s ready. We always have it at my SIL’s in Florida, where the rest of the family is, but I go down a day or two early to help with clean up and preparations, and bring a couple of favored dishes. Everyone brings something, and when the turkey is ready, then we eat. Being tied to a specific “dinner time” is cruel on a day when so many things need adjusting as you go along!

This year, make MICHAEL cook the damn meal, and YOU sit back and watch football!

I can’t think of any really horrible dinners, but some have been better than others. Frankly, though, the more you’re surrounded by people you love, the less you care about the food!

By fer

November 17, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

I would be embarrassed to print this.

By FCM

November 17, 2008 12:29 PM | Link to this

“Had my husband just said, “I’m embarrassed that my Dad and family are waiting and that dinner is late. Is there something we can start on?” I would have said, “Yes , let’s have the pasta as an appetizer instead of with the meal.” (They’re Italian, they have pasta at Thanksgiving.) However, since he was just yelling at me about the turkey, I was just fighting back on that issue. “

Big picutre: YOU made your ‘guests’ wait due to a petty arguement that hurt your feelings??????

By missnadine

November 17, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

Theresa, I’ve been lurking for weeks and have never made a comment. It seems you are well intended, but that you always try to come across as a victim. Why make everything so dramatic? You remind me of my sister. Every year she insists on having everybody over, and every year she plays the martyr. Why not try something that you can actually handle, for example a ready-made turkey and sides? And please, there is never an excuse to have guests freezing. No way it takes less than a few minutes to set a table. Again, you are playing the martyr, as you have in your columns about football, beach vacations, trip to NY, etc. You are simply one of those folks that do everything the hard way.

By Active Duty Mom

November 17, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

Three ideas for Thanksgiving:

By Holiday Gal

November 17, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

I have been serving Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities for the past 25 years at my house. And this is for 60 people (large family). Thank goodness I have a gift of organization and a great oven. My parties have never turned out anything but perfect.

By Penguinmom

November 17, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

Dealing with the turkey issue, turning it down becaus it seems to be getting cooked too quickly is a common mistake. The temperature will always rise more quickly to start with, it’s those last 50 degrees that will take forever. So, trust your recipe and leave the temp control alone. That said, the turkey being done early is not a big deal. Covered in aluminum foil it will stay warm and actually continue to cook.

Relationship wise, I’m amazed both at what your husband says and does and also how willing he is to let you tell the world about it.

Have y’all seen the movie Fireproof? Might be worth your time.

By Holiday Gal

November 17, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

Now cranberry sauce surprise for 60, THERE is a challenge. Almost stumped me one year. But I just got some tips on line. And thank goodness everybody stays out of my kithen. I would go crazy if anybody got involved in my “mess hall”.

By Penguinmom

November 17, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

One thing I have told my husband in the past is that he can make whatever comments he wants to about me in front of my parents. They love me no matter what. And they had to put up with me growing up so there will be some sympathy there. :-)

BUT, he cannot say anything bad about me in front of his parents. They are my in-laws. Already a tough relationship most of the time, I don’t need any complaining on his part added to the mix. I always cringe when his brother complains about his wife in front of us.

Fortunately, I have a sweet, wonderful husband who is gifted with a lot of control over his tongue.

By Active Duty Mom

November 17, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

For those of you who will be cooking the turkey, this link from the USDA website may be helpful:

http://www.fsis.usda.gov/FactSheets/CountdowntotheHoliday/index.asp

They also have a toll-free meat and poultry hotline that you can call year-round at 1-888-MP-HOTLINE.

By Miss Independent

November 17, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this

Theresa -

I am surprised. Did your wedding vows say “to have and to hold and accepting every humiliation out of your mouth my dearest”? That is just awful. He obviously forgot to engage his thinking brain and used his “man brain” instead. After all your hard work. Had that been my husband, I would have politely and with a smile on my face, asked to see him in the kitchen. Then he would have found a ladle of gravy down the front of his “dress up pants”. Then I would let him explain that to everybody.

By Stacey

November 17, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

My mother-in-law and I have not always had the best relationship so I was determined to impress her the first Thanksgiving that I was married by cooking my specialty, dressing. MIL was hosting the dinner and had cooked the turkey so my cornbread and the rest of the fixings to her house so I could use the drippings from the turkey in the dressing. After I had added everything except the raw egg I decided to taste for seasoning and found that desperately needed salt. Just as I got ready to add the salt, my husband called me and I went down the hall to see what he needed. When I returned to the kitchen I had forgotten about the salt until after I had added the raw eggs so I just added some and put it in the oven. It looked picture perfect but when we tried to eat it, it was so salty that we couldn’t eat it! Come to find out when I walked out to talked to my husband my MIL tasted the batter for the dressing and agreed that it needed salt and added it without telling me. She said she remembered the first time she cooked for her MIL and was afraid that it would hurt my feelings if she suggested that I add salt. We laugh about that every year now and each vowed not to season the other’s food without permission!

By nurse&mother

November 17, 2008 2:07 PM | Link to this

Sandy- I think the guests should be thankful that someone else is preparing and hosting the Thanksgiving meal. JMHO.

While I think that she should have improvised on the outdoor dining, who wants to wind up in the ER due to undercooked poulty. Can you say food poisoning? If you’ve ever had it, you won’t take any chances again.

It would have been nice to have an appetizer to offer while everyone was waiting on the turkey. Live and learn I say.

By JillG

November 17, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

Managing ones expectations can have the most positive impact on the day. Things can and may go wrong, but a relaxed and happy host and hostess will put their guests at ease and allow everyone to go with the flow. My “perfect” holiday meals have been filled with flaws, and fixes. But more importantly they have been filled with family and fun and laughter.

By Joyce

November 17, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

Talking about cleanup reminds me of TG growing up in Michigan. My great-aunt always hosted, although she probably had the smallest house of all of us, so her kitchen was pretty small. At clean-up time, we would have to have two teams working in different parts of the (tiny) kitchen because my great aunt and my grandmother didn’t get along. Some of us would be at the breakfast nook with grandma and some in the kitchen part with my aunt, all listening to the occasional comment from one or the other about how “Some People” did or didn’t do things…Thanks for the smile!

By Sugar

November 17, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

Everyone is different, so you cannot expect a smooth perfect Thanksgiving meal.

As long as you are with the ones you love, that is what’s important, whether that be friends or family of both.

One year at Thanksgiving, my first husband took me to visit his relatives in another state. I had NEVER met any of these people. We were at his cousin’s house. I went to take a shower, as we had driven 8 hours to get there. When I got out of the shower, the entire house was empty. Everyone had left. I sat there, in a stranger’s house, in a strange city, all by myself, for 3 hours. I had no vehicle, nothing. We didn’t have cell phones back then so there was no way to contact anyone.

Apparently everyone was so excited my husband was there, that they just took off to go party, and they totally forgot me.

My own family was 2,000 miles away. It was the worst Thanksgiving I have ever had. I sat on the front porch swing ALONE and cried.

That’s why he is now my EX husband. He never thought about anyone but himself.

By motherjanegoose

November 17, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this

Holiday gal…can we come to your house? I will bring up to 4 sides and want to see what a perfect holiday dinner feels like.

Sugar…your story tops the cake and sounds like something my in laws would do.

Last time we went…my husband’s mother and grandma were putting all the final touches on the things and had the tables all set. The four siblings and families were waiting patiently and crammed into their small house. My father in law grabbed a plate, went to the kitchen and helped himself out of the pots and pans, filling his plate and then walked into living room, turned on the TV and declared…I’M HUNGRY! I wanted to cry. BUT this was his wife and his mother and since they never said a peep to him, it was certainly not my place.

Manners must be learned somewhere and eating with the TV on is not a way to share a family meal. Children learn from their families and unfortunately there are way to many families who do not have a nice meal with pleasant conversation…this is not just for holidays folks. I do not allow the TV on at my house during dinner…it is on 24/7 at my husband’s parents and I cannot stand it! This is one of my firm rules and you do not cross mama on this one.
As teachers…we know who has table manners and who eats on the couch with the TV on!

FYI…while I have never had T dinner on the back porch…it can be 65 degrees here in Atlanta on Thanksgiving and so that could work out for some.

Once, we had snow for TDAY and I ran out of freezer space. so I put everything on the back porch and kept an eagle eye on it for the yard critters.

By jct

November 17, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

Wow, Sugar. NOBODY remembered you!?! That is just tacky. Sounds like the whole family had a screw loose.

I could not treat anyone like that. I don’t invite the heathens for TG but they are welcome to visit another other time of the year. I just don’t cook when they come.

By Brad

November 17, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

I’ve cooked Thanksgiving and Christmas meals for two to 20-plus and (knock on wood) have never had a major misstep. However, in the day-to-day stuff, it happens all the time. I’ve just been lucky. Hope everything goes better for you this year.

By fk

November 17, 2008 7:09 PM | Link to this

We host T’giving every year…with out-of-towners staying the weekend. Luckily, no mishaps. Lots of planning for the other meals leading up to and after the big day in addition to sleeping arrangements, etc., as well. This year will be interesting as I am going out of town Thurs-Sun before the big day (surprise visit for my parents’ 60th anniversary). My husband (who is in the hospitality business) will do just fine with the grocery shopping. My only concern is that he won’t comparison shop price-wise. Will be hosting Christmas this year…don’t have the out of town count yet (husband’s side), but it may go as high as 7 extras staying at our home, plus an additional 7 from around town for dinner. For Christmas, I prepare the sauce, meats and assemble the lasagna ahead, then freeze everything, and simply pop the pasta into the oven to cook on the holiday and reheat everything else. My mother has done it this way forever. Plus, I seem to be the only one these last few years who actually bakes.

My mom, 85, hosts Christmas (sit down) dinner for 40+. We’ll miss it this year :(

By Penguinmom

November 17, 2008 7:18 PM | Link to this

Sugar, I think I would have called my family long-distance on the in-laws’ phone. Wouldn’ t have felt guilty about costing them if they forgot me.

By Jesse's Girl

November 17, 2008 7:22 PM | Link to this

Yeah well….last year, parts of our chandelier were shot out with a pellett gun. And my uncle thanked The Lord during the “thankful prayer” because his wife was gracious enough to NOT have left him when she found out about his affair. Last year at your house sounds pretty good:)

By Colleen

November 18, 2008 7:12 AM | Link to this

These dinners will be remembered (I hope!) with laughter in the years to come.

My Grandmother, a very proper hostess and great cook, was hosting TG for about 15 people a few years ago

Snacks and drinks were available.

The table was set with fine china, the good silver, crystal goblets for the wine, a beautiful centerpiece, candles, napkins rings, you name it.

Board games were being played. No TV was on.

Everything in the kitchen was running smoothly.

Someone ran the garbage disposal for potato peelings or something and it clogged. Both sinks.

People tried everything to unclog it. Nothing worked.

My mom and all the siblings looked on in horror at the dilemma. Clogged sinks!

How could Grammy serve a TG dinner with no disposal and no way to wash the fine china and silver?

Light bulb went off - someone was dispatched to a convenience store to buy Chinet and the best plastic utensils available.

It all went into a garbage bag after dinner.

Even Grammy now laughs at this one!

By motherjanegoose

November 18, 2008 7:37 AM | Link to this

colleen….been there done that with the garbage disposal…MANY TIMES. I do not allow myself to put the potato peelings in the garbage disposal …they go in the trash or someone else does it…I jinx it every time… Have a nice day everyone!

By Sarah

November 18, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this

We watch far too many commercials showing the perfect family sitting around the perfect meal with perfect looks and perfect smiles on their perfect faces and we expect to emulate the same scenes in our homes. They’re commercials, that’s not your family. You rarely stand a chance to produce the same results. It’s scenes such as the one you described that has me informing people around August-September that I have plans for the holidays so I regret that I can’t be part of the big family gathering. Thanksgiving is the perfect time for some rest and relaxation for the two of us in a cabin in the mountains as far away from dried turkey, runny dressing and family members who, out of obligation, attends the same dog and pony show year after year….dreading it each time. We do show up for Christmas.