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The hostile hostess

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Sunday’s Miss Manners column about gave me a heart attack.

The reader wondered who was in the wrong: a cousin who had attended a small dinner party without bringing any sort of hostess gift, or the hostess, who later blessed her out for showing up empty-handed.

Good grief!

Miss Manners’ advice was, as always, spot on. “Anyone who would chastise a guest like that is not fit for civilized society.”

This brings to mind two questions.

First, what do you like to give and receive as hostess gifts? I usually bring a bottle of wine, or a bouquet from the garden, or both.

(‘Fly floral tip: arrange those fresh-from-the-garden arrangements several hours ahead of time, washing and drying the blooms carefully, then put it in the refrigerator. That way nothing crawls out of your bouquet later on.)

Second: why are some people so mean? Seriously.

Skyland trail luncheon

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Skyland Trail Associates members Karen Parker and Carol Goodman.

At Skyland Trail’s recent “Arts in the Garden” arts festival, guests viewed artwork by Skyland Trail clients and community artists, watched artisan demonstrations traditional crafts and shopped at the plant sale, featuring arrangements created by Skyland Trail clients.

Skyland Trail is the treatment center of the George West Mental Health Foundation. The fundraiser was organized by Skyland Trail along with with Georgia Regional Hospital, Community Friendship, Emory Helthcare at Emory Hospital and Roswell Nursing and Rehabilitation Center.

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Skyland Trail President Beth Finnerty and Board of Directors member John Gordon.

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Comments

By Mike

June 24, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

I usually bring a bottle of wine if I know the hosts drink. Flowers should be in a vase so the hostess doesn’t have to hunt one down.

There are some interesting cultural taboos - don’t bring white flowers to an Asian household (or four of anything to a Japanese household). Among the French, perfumed soaps and lotions might be seen as an implication that the hosts are unclean.

I’m curious about the tradition of bringing food to a family in mourning. Is it meant to be for the family so they don’t have to prepare meals while they’re planning and attending the services, or is it to feed all the people they expect to drop by?

By Mike

June 24, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

I usually bring a bottle of wine if I know the hosts drink. Flowers should be in a vase so the hostess doesn’t have to hunt one down.

There are some interesting cultural taboos - don’t bring white flowers to an Asian household (or four of anything to a Japanese household). Among the French, perfumed soaps and lotions might be seen as an implication that the hosts are unclean.

I’m curious about the tradition of bringing food to a family in mourning. Is it meant to be for the family so they don’t have to prepare meals while they’re planning and attending the services, or is it to feed all the people they expect to drop by?

By Southern Miss

July 10, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

Mike - the food is for both, saving the grieving family the trouble of shopping and cooking and for feeding the masses that drop by to offer condolences. It gives those that feel the need to do something a way to help in a very personal way. Don’t forget to label your dish(es) to ease the return.

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