Home > Table Talk > Archives > 2008 > May > 13 > Entry
Ten Things I Hate About You
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
THE BATHROOM AT NAN is serene and clean.
Photo: Phil Skinner/AJC staff
Continuing on my men’s mag fetish, I noticed that a regular feature for most is a female celebrity 10-question story form of what that person thinks men should know. You know, like Kim Cattrall letting guys know that multiple orgasms aren’t a luxury, they’re a must.
Strange ground for an idea for a food blog, I admit, but fertile nonetheless. I started thinking about the ten things I’d like restaurateurs to know. Here’s my list:
The bathroom is part of your restaurant. Pay someone to keep it clean. Always.
Servers should know how to pronounce everything on your menu. “Gestapo” for “gazpacho” doesn’t cut it.
Servers should know what everything on your menu tastes like. The worst answer to the question, “how’s the coconut milk soup?’ is “I don’t know, I’ve never tasted it.”
Never think that #2 and #3, above, don’t happen. They do. They have.
Terms like “vine-ripened” and “organic” are only worth using if your ingredients actually are.
“Made-from-scratch” does not mean the same thing as opening a box and adding eggs and water.
The customer is always right. Really.
There is no place for smoking in a restaurant, including you, smoking at the back door on your break.
Sure, Anthony Bourdain is cool. You are not Anthony Bourdain, no matter how cool you think you are. Be yourself.
“Award winning” means that you have actually won an award. It’s not a catch phrase.
So, what would your list include?
Permalink | Comments (36) | Post your comment | Categories: Dining
Comments
By koffie
May 13, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this
I must totally disagree with number 7. The customer is NOT always right.
By Rodney
May 13, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this
“Gestapo” - LOL!
Never had that one happen, but I once had a server argue with me over the correct pronunciation (and in turn, spelling) of “watercress”.
You can imagine which hard consonant he added to the end … “T”.
It wasn’t even like I pointed it out to him - he read off the specials, departed for a bit, came back and I ordered the watercress salad. He corrected ME!
“I think it’s watercrest.”
In any case, I didn’t say anything to him until AFTER my food arrived (you never want to upset your server before you are served). And when I mentioned it to him, he argued the point.
I let it go after a few minutes.
In any case, this relates to your #s 2 and 3 - probably the most important of your list, for me.
Would I add anything to it? Well I think we’ve already covered our pet peeves with servers in a blog about a month or so ago HOWEVER I would just like to reiterate that as I, the patron and thee, the server develop our 1 1/2 hour relationship know this: I am not your friend and I don’t want you sitting down with me, adding dim buzzwords to describe the food (wonderful! terrific!), nor do I want my party to be called “you guys”.
There. That’s #11 for me - no “How are you guys doing?” or “I’ll bring you guys some water.”
“You” works just as well as “You guys”, ok?
By george
May 13, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this
I don’t like the “we won’t seat you until your party is completely here” rule. That’s just bad customer service. Treat your guests with respect and don’t assume that they’re going to take up a table in your restaurant without ordering. The other party member really might be just late.
By FCM
May 13, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this
@ Rodney…being southern, and in a casual restaurant when I was serving….I always addressed my tables as y’all the only proper way to address anyone in the South
You guys, or worse yous guys, is usually found above the Mason-Dixon…and they say we talk funny.
Now as far as the list….#1 is a must…If the bathroom isn’t clean then I really worry what you do to your food/kitchen…to the point I may not eat there even if your last 10 inspections were 100!
I could accept the following to #3: “I have been told it is good, however since I have an allergen to I have been able to try it myself.” I did have to use that when asked about any shrimp dish on the menu…I am not tasting shell fish since I like breathing…Most of my clients understood.
7 is not always correct. Really.By Lily Toad
May 13, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this
The no-smoking rule reminds me of a certain restaurant in Little Five Points when mid-way through our meal our waiter arrived reeking. When he disappeared again, my friend and I turned to each other and said: “Pot!”
By FCM
May 13, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this
@Lily Toad….I am guessing Vortex? I mean I don’t think I have had a ‘sober’ server there yet.
By Rodney
May 13, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this
@ FCM - I’m as southern as the day is long (grew up in deep southern Georgia). :)
“You guys” is just too informal, not to mention extraneous. Plus, my butch-ier gal pals wouldn’t mind being called a guy but I’m sure my more dainty lady friends might object to it!
“You” works just fine.
As for “y’all” - I WILL happily accept “you all” in place of “you guys”.
How’s that for compromise?? :)
AMEN GEORGE I despise that, too. What’s the point in the reservation (read, Seinfeld) if you lose it because of one tardy person?!
By Lily Toad
May 13, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this
Nope, not Vortex. My pet peeve is my girlfriend and I being called “Ladies” REPEATEDLY. Like every time they approach the table: “More water, Ladies,” “Would you like anything else, Ladies?” “How about dessert, Ladies,” “Come back again, Ladies.” Aaargh!
By Speakeasy
May 13, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this
how about five things i hate about MF - 1. - Conseal your idenity so you can actually write a real review. 2. - Don’t be loud and cause attention to yourself. 3. - never ever talk about when YOU use to be a chef. 4. - don’t promote the same chefs all the time (i.e. Shaun Doty) 5. - don’t throw 4 star reviews around so easily. don’t you get it, every waiter in town knows your face. you get well taken care of for a reason.
By reservoirDAWG
May 13, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this
I could not agree more with #1. A poorly kept bathroom is a reflection on the staff and the cleanliness of the kitchen. As for # 7, bs. As a former owner I cannot tell you how wrong you are. Some customers are looking for free food. Although there are legitimate complaints, and those should be handled accordingly, some people are just b***$.
By Peaches
May 13, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this
Anyone every met the owner for the Diner on Indian Trail?
By SteveO
May 13, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this
I’ve never worked in a restaurant, but I think I speak for every industry when I say that the customer is NOT always right.
Quite often the customer is an idiot and has no clue what they are talking about. Quite often the customer is just trying to impress others. Quite often the customer is looking for a freebie, and quite often the customer is just being difficult for the sake of being difficult.
By FCM
May 13, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this
@Rodney….was not accusing you of being a Yank…I have read enough of your stuff to know better…just explaining how/why I said what I did at my tables.
No offense meant.
Now a new one I am hearing is ‘doll’. Ok, so maybe its an old one coming back…Offensive! “Can I get you anything else doll?” UGH!!!!
By JEM
May 13, 2008 5:02 PM | Link to this
If a customer orders coffee, don’t ask if they want cream, bring it out with the coffee, I find it rude when ask. Also, bring out a spoon, no one likes to stir with a knife.
By Kaye
May 13, 2008 5:30 PM | Link to this
The is not always right but they are always the customer. This thought kept me from “losing it” many of times.
By tobias
May 13, 2008 5:41 PM | Link to this
Wow, now you are telling people they can’t smoke OUTSIDE???? You’re actually making me miss Kessler.
By deegee
May 13, 2008 5:49 PM | Link to this
Not sure what happens inside the doughnut but the landscape in suburbia is barren when it comes to dining out. I think that there is such a dearth of qualified cooks and waitstaff that restaurant owners will hire pretty much anyone with a pulse, and that includes managers. I live in the meth infested far-northern suburbs and stopped eating in restaurants near my home because the service and the food is abysmal. I will travel to Roswell and Alpharetta to dine out but I don’t really like to experiment because I have made some pretty expensive mistakes. I would like restaurants to know that a pleasant server who is interested in their job can overcome a number of obstacles created by an inexperienced kitchen staff.
By cy
May 14, 2008 8:13 AM | Link to this
aware of common allergy in foods.
knowing the special. what it is and if they would eat it them self.
call me old fashion… service by someone who takes a little pride in their work. food is wonderful and great but a great dish can be ruined by the experience.
great topic. i myself have been in restaurant biz for a decade. the public is needs to appreciate the restaurants more and in return demand effcent excellent service and food each time.
By kerry
May 14, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this
I like to be left alone to eat and converse with my party so don’t whiz by calling out “are ya’ll doing all right” or “how ya’ll doing”. Just observe and see if the water glass is nearly empty or if we are in some distree. I really wish you would wait until I’m gone to do your carpet sweeping near my table. And it would help if your wate staff would remove the tongue studs. They could then enunciate more clearly and effectively.
By Lily Toad
May 14, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this
More pet peeves: “You still working on that?” No, I’m ENJOYING it.
By ES
May 14, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this
Truer words have never been spoken…
“Quite often the customer is an idiot and has no clue what they are talking about. Quite often the customer is just trying to impress others. Quite often the customer is looking for a freebie, and quite often the customer is just being difficult for the sake of being difficult.”
I would like to add that the customers mentioned above also don’t tip worth a squat so unless you can be polite, pleasant to your server, be reasonable and TIP THE MINIMUM 15%, I recommend you stay home!
By tw
May 14, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this
I would really appreciate it if servers, and their managers/proprietors/whoever-runs-the-place took a more conscientious effort to maintain their personal hygiene when around food. There shouldn’t be any hair hanging in a server’s face or long, wayward goatees- inevitably a strand will end up in someone’s food. … Just the other day I was at an ice cream shop, when the girl behind the counter, wearing plastic serving gloves preceded to put both hands into her scalp and scratch her head viciously, before promptly using the same gloved hands to begin serving ice cream. Umm, no thanks. I’ll take my scoop of chocolate without your dandruff, hon.
Restaurant personnel - Please be aware that your personal hygiene contributes to the overall atmosphere and experience of the restaurant.
By PD
May 14, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this
Is tipping required for TO GO Orders
By Rodney
May 14, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this
I’m going to say this yet again - there is no minimum required tip amount (other than large parties - a point of contention I still have with my server-friends).
Your tip is based on your performance. Treat me/my party well, based on my expectations, and you get a large tip. I generally tend to OVER-tip when I’m happy.
Give inadequate service, based on my expectations, and you get a greatly reduced tip and probably an anonymous e-mail to your manager the following day if it is still irking me.
By JM
May 14, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this
Pet peeve #1: Being treated like “persona non grata” in a restaurant if you are a female diner. You automatically get palmed-off on the worst table location, with the “who cares?”/patronizing server. Contrary to popular belief, women DO reward good service. #2: PLEASE LISTEN to the customer when they are giving you drink/food orders. A sure sign of a 2nd-rate place is a sloppy, incorrect drink order, whether or not they get the entree right. If the waitron can’t even manage to put a lemon wedge in the water when requested, you know they’re not gonna care about your meal. #3. Servers who get a kick out of coming up to the diner who’s just taken a bite of the food to ask a question. Reminds me of the dentist chair.
By Ziza
May 14, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this
YES to #2 and #3. #3 especially irks me. and #1 as well. And I’ll co-sign with the poster re no sweeping around my feet. or constantly coming by and asking how it’s going. or even worse — stopping at my table to have a conversation while I’m trying to enjoy my meal and my companion(s). AND thank you Rodney, tipping is for SERVICE. The lack thereof should be reflected also.
By Truth B Known
May 14, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this
I tip 100% to nude female servers
By Jason Greene
May 14, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this
Add to the list, when the manager comes by your table and says “Is everything wonderful”? Be truthful, to the manager. If it’s bad, tell him so. I’ve done it, and the look on the managers face is priceless. I hope I never run into a certain food reviewer, at a certain Atlanta magazine, while dining. She makes it a point to let everyone know who she is, and has usually had one too many glasses of wine. I think everyone knows whom I’m talking about.
By Matt
May 14, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this
George- you are so right! I despise that rule. I don’t understand the logic behind it. The restaurant will make more money by sitting the people who are there b/c you will drink and eat appetizers (spend money) while waiting on everybody else. And it is agreed upon that the customer is NOT always right.
Also, I do not like smug hosts and hostesses. They act as if they are holding the key to the holy grail. It is just a restaurant. I can take my business elsewhere and in a place like Atlanta, there are plenty of options to choose from.
By jack friedlander
May 14, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this
When I ask “What ‘imported’ beers do you have?”, I want to know what is on offer from Europe or the Far East, not from California. When I eat at an “Italian” Restaurant, I do not want to be forced to eat Pasta. There are vegetables out there besides Broccoli. Most important point of all if the food is supposed to be hot, do not serve it lukewarm.
By Rodney
May 14, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this
@ Jack F.
LOL @ “There are vegetables out there besides broccoli” … recently, and three times in the past few months, I was at a neighborhood-in-the-gayborhood resto … we’ll call it “BovinePushers”.
Each and every time I order the ‘fresh vegetables’ is is broccoli. Only broccoli.
I don’t MIND broccoli, but really, shouldn’t the menu read ‘fresh broccoli’ and not imply that there might be another veggie in the mix?
So naturally, put out by the lack of cauliflower and carrots, I ordered french fries last time. Thanks a lot BovinePushers for putting me BACK on high carbs. :)
By Crown
May 14, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this
I totally agree with you Jack! One that comes to mind is Seasons 52 near Perimeter Mall. Hostesses, you DO realize that we are surrounded by plenty of restaurants that are equal if not superior, right???
I would like to add #11. It is very likely that we will not know what we are going to order the moment you place the menus in our hands. Please, PLEASE don’t take this as a sign to go on a 20 minute break!
By Soulfinger
May 14, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this
The customer is NOT always right and that goes for anyone who has to deal with the public. Some folks are greedy and spiteful and are looking to make someone miserable and most of thier outlets for thier general unhappiness is to yell at the woman behind the counter or to argue with the waiter.
By Marta
May 15, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this
Pet Peeve: Wait staff sweeping floor/carpet while you are eating! Disgusting!
By Alice
May 15, 2008 5:17 PM | Link to this
By Rick
May 16, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this
I am so tired of the phrase ” my name is so and so and I will be taking care of you”. The name of the server is not really necessary for a good dining experience.