Grade: C

Verdict: Rent "To Catch a Thief" instead.

By BOB TOWNSEND
Cox News Service

A few points to ponder while watching "After the Sunset" -- an occasionally amusing but generally dull heist movie starring Pierce Brosnan and Salma Hayek as a crafty jewel thief couple and Woody Harrelson as a bumbling FBI agent who trails them to the tropics:

• Does Brosnan's scruffy, salt and pepper stubble mean he ditched the fancy Norelco Spectra James Bond shaver he sported in "Die Another Day" -- or is he just using it to groom his chest hair these days?
• Will the décolleté gold necklace and slinky belly chain Hayek wears in lieu of much else ever get caught in anything -- say Brosnan's teeth?
• And wouldn't it be cool if Harrelson suddenly showed up in a scene doing his Roy Munson shtick from "Kingpin" -- casually waving that grotesque plastic hand?

But enough fun. Let's reel our wandering mind in and deal with the Hollywood movie at hand.

"After the Sunset" opens with Max (Brosnan) and Lola (Hayek) stealing an incredibly rare diamond during a Lakers game in L.A., foiling a legion of cops and sending Stan (Harrelson) on a hell ride in a remote-control SUV. But while Max and Lola are doing the humpty dance on the car hood to celebrate their big score, Stan gets off a shot that wounds Max.

Fast forward a few months later to Paradise Island in the Bahamas, where Max and Lola have retired to a life of beachfront splendor filled with glorious sunsets. But Stan, the man they've played cat and mouse with for seven years, arrives with a hunch that's there's trouble on Paradise.

While Lola is keeping busy with golf, tennis and sailing, Max can't seem to find a hobby to relieve his boredom. "I'm no good at sunsets," he says. And now a cruise ship with a priceless Napoleon diamond onboard is scheduled to make port on the island for several days. So will Max stay true to his word to Lola, write his marriage vows and settle down for good? Or will he be tempted to prove one last time why he's known as "the king of alibis"?

The answers prove less exciting than the questions.

Thankfully, though, as the plot wanders and palm trees and babes in bikinis fill the screen, Don Cheadle enters the mess as Henri Moore -- a pimp-style bad guy with a very funny rap. His philosophy is "free love as found in the collected works of the Mamas and Papas." And he has the "California Dreamin'" mix tape to prove it.

But Cheadle's moments of comic relief can't save "After the Sunset." Nor can Brosnan's and Harrelson's few good buddy bits. Nor can Hayek's exotic sex appeal. Because, in the end, director Brett Ratner ("Rush Hour") is just too burdened by a typically derivative script that has a few superficial twists (and gives a clever nod to Hitchcock's classic "To Catch a Thief"), but never turns out to be anything more than sheer product.