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Grade: C-

Verdict: Ice Cube's family road movie comes up flat.

By JON WATERHOUSE
Cox News Service

With a sluggish, gimmick-laden plot, the family comedy "Are We There Yet?" feels more like "Is It Over Yet?"

Nick (Ice Cube), a single, kid-fearing fellow, falls for the bubbly Suzanne (Nia Long). Trouble is, she has two children and is afraid to get any closer to the skittish Nick. When Suzanne is whisked away to Vancouver on business, Nick sees an opportunity to prove himself and offers to drive the kids (Philip Daniel Bolden and Aleisha Allen) from Portland in time to hook up with their mom on New Year's Eve.

Without apology, the film dives straight into John Hughes territory. Seven-year-old Kevin and 11-year-old Lindsey are anything but elated at the prospect of their mother having suitors. In pure "Home Alone" fashion, they attempt to sabotage her potential boyfriends with homemade booby traps (buckets of paint, marbles, etc.). And once they're in the car with Nick, the scenes seem rented from "Planes, Trains and Automobiles." Nick and his beloved SUV experience road-trip hell with malfunctioning juice boxes, kiddie vomit and white-knuckle driving. But "Are We There Yet?" lacks the charm and wit of those Hughes-helmed flicks.

Things go drastically over the top, starting with the Satchel Paige bobblehead doll on Nick's dashboard. The doll (voiced by Tracy Morgan) acts as Nick's conscience, spouting out loudmouthed advice and juggling one-liners. Their annoying conversations strip any sense of reality from the proceedings. Reality takes another blow when the kids hop on a freight train and city slicker Nick suddenly has the ability to chase after them on horseback.

Yet Ice Cube's transformation from R-rated hooligan into family-friendly leading man mostly works. He's basically Abbott to the kids' Costello -- a frustrated straight man at the receiving end of slapstick.

The film makes less use of the supporting cast. Long is nothing more than attractive window dressing, and Jay Mohr, as Nick's co-worker, phones in what amounts to a glorified cameo. The two kid co-stars come right out of "The Cosby Show" mode -- a little too artificial to pass for real.

While there's certainly an audience for family films with African-American leads, this uninspired on-the-road comedy quickly runs out of gas.