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Hold your nose, 'Bewitched' remake is a real stinker

Bewitched is a bunch of hoodoo — or, at least, something that rhymes with that word.

Director Nora Ephron's big-screen adaptation of the beloved 1960s television sitcom about a witch who marries a mortal is hexed by an ill-conceived premise. It follows the production of a new Bewitched TV series, with an unknown actress cast in the Samantha role. The actress turns out to be an actual witch whose life mirrors that of her character.

Columbia Pictures 'Bewitched' D The verdict: Sadly, all the nose-twitching in the world won't turn the trick for Bewitched. Director: Nora Ephron Starring: Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, Shirley MacLaine, Michael Caine Run time: 105 minutes Release date: June 24, 2005 Rating: PG-13 for some language, including sex and drug references, and partial nudity. See showtimes On the web Official movie site View the trailer    Trailers require Quicktime Rate "Bewitched"   Go see it   Make it a matinee   Wait to rent   Don't bother Voter Limit: Once per Hour View Poll Results Columbia Pictures

The charmless romantic comedy attempts to blend fantasy and reality, but it gets lost between the two.

Nicole Kidman stars as Isabel, a naive witch who yearns to live a "normal" life, with a husband and a house in Hollywood. Still, she relies on magic when it comes to things like money and tidying up.

Will Ferrell is Jack Wyatt, a self-important actor whose film career and marriage are both on the skids. He is reduced to taking the role of Darrin Stephens in a TV remake of Bewitched.

Well aware that the actor who portrayed Darrin in the original series was replaced without anyone really noticing, Jack demands that an unknown play Samantha, so that he can step on her lines and steal the spotlight.

He discovers Isabel in a book store, twitching her nose like Elizabeth Montgomery.

Now here's where things get confusing. The new series features a hammy actress (Shirley MacLaine) portraying Endora, Samantha's mother. Yet Isabel has a womanizing warlock father (Michael Caine) and a bumbling Aunt Clara (Carole Shelley), like the original TV character. Uncle Arthur (Steve Carrell) turns up in the final reel — apparently as a figment of Jack's imagination.

None of it makes any sense.

A bigger problem is Kidman and Ferrell's lack of chemistry. Plus, the film is almost entirely devoid of laughs.

Bewitched goes from bad to worse when it lurches from showbiz spoof to mawkish romance.

Ephron's romantic comedies include Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail, but she seems to have lost her magic touch.

After last year's flop Stepford Wives adaptation, Kidman should swear off remakes altogether.

Ferrell manages to raise a few smiles with his usual goofy shtick, particularly when he's riffing on a line-reading while under a spell during filming. However, salvaging this mess appears to be too great a task for any mere mortal.

The supporting cast, which includes Jason Schwartzman, Kristen Chenoweth and Stephen Colbert, is woefully under-used.

Sadly, all the nose-twitching in the world won't turn the trick for Bewitched.