This 'Break-Up' is more depressing than most

Poor Jennifer Aniston.

First, Baby Shiloh (daughter of Brad 'n' Angelina) arrives over the long holiday weekend so the TV news stations have three full days to go on about it.

Now, this.

Universal Pictures 'The Break-Up' C- The verdict: So broken even the capable stars can't fix it. Director: Peyton Reeds Starring: Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston, Jon Favreau, Joey Lauren Adams, Ann-Margret Run time: 106 minutes Release date: June 2, 2006 Rating: PG-13 for sexual content, some nudity and language. See showtimes Hollywood break-ups •  Real-life break-ups spawned on the silver screen. •  Famous on-screen break-ups. On the web Official movie site View the trailer    Trailers require Quicktime Rate 'The Break-Up'   Go see it   Make it a matinee   Wait to rent   Don't bother Voter Limit: Once per Hour View Poll Results

"This" is "The Break-Up," and, truth be told, it's not Aniston's fault. She's actually quite good in a role that returns her to her Rachel roots, but with a darker tone.

Darker tone is the operative phrase. The movie is being sold as a rollicking romantic comedy with that are-they-or-aren't-they hot couple, Aniston and co-star Vince Vaughn (who also produced and came up with the story).

But brace yourself. "The Break-Up" is more "The War of the Roses," the 1989 black comedy starring Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas, than "When Harry Met Sally ..."

The film begins well. The two meet cute at Wrigley Field, where he buys her a hot dog and wheedles her into dumping her date when the game is over. That's followed by an over-the-credits photo montage of them at a costume party, at Christmas, buying a condo together.

Then comes the relationship's first fissure — it's a matter of him not buying enough lemons and, worse, not caring — which widens into a mutual get-out-of-my-life chasm. One problem: Neither will move out of the condo.

As they bicker, fight and seek out bad advice from a good, mostly wasted supporting cast (Judy Davis, Jon Favreau, among others), you can almost feel the air seep out of the movie. Out of the audience, too. First, moviegoers will feel confused, then downright uncomfortable. Where's that cute romantic comedy the trailers promoted?

Reportedly, Vaughn's original concept was much bleaker — an "anti-romantic comedy" was his term — and movie's helter-skelter mixed signals suggest that's the case.

But somewhere, somehow, that gave way to a script by neophytes Jeremy Garelick and Jay Lavender. The thing is a nightmare, full of the sort of generic quippy insult-comedy you get on any given sitcom. Characters say things they wouldn't and behave in ways that don't make any sense. One minute, Vaughn's barkeep pal Favreau is telling him to go out and find another babe to score with. The next, he's doling out Dr. Phil sensitive-man advice.

The stars do their best to fill in the gaps, and they do have a certain chemistry together — especially in the fight scenes, which may be a little too familiar to anyone who's gone through a bad break-up of their own. They let you see the pain as well as the rancor, the sadness as well as the bitterness.

When they're allowed to, that is. Otherwise, she's forced to trade really wince-inducing sexual innuendoes with Davis, who plays her boss, and he tries to bring off a dead-in-the-water strip-poker scene.

Watching these likable actors flounder around as they try to save a picture that's not worth saving is, well, depressing. At one point, Vaughn, who leads bus tours of Chicago, attempts to loosen up his passengers by joking, "If you can't blow it out on the big, funny bus, where can you?"

We'll take the next bus, thanks.