Constantine
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![]() Warner Bros. Pictures John Constantine is a traveling, misfit supernatural investigator who teams up with police detective Angela Dodson after her twin sister's suicide-like death.
Official movie site
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Grade: C
Verdict: A dark, demonic tale that gets mired in its own murkiness.
By BOB LONGINO
Cox News Service
The cinematic link between heaven and hell, the conscious and subconscious and, yes, even human neophytes and evil master cylinders has always been Keanu Reeves.
He fuels our need for speed, our inner surfer desire to catch a wave before we catch the crooks.
In the dark, demonic, messy "Constantine," Reeves is back and in the title role. Things will get nasty, testy, dangerous. There will be blood, gnashing of teeth, fiery depths and angelic hosts on high.
There's not a moment to spare in the fight between heaven and hell Ñ and, unfortunately for moviegoers, very few moments in "Constantine" to savor. It's sort of like "The Matrix" minus all the cool stuff.
Like "Hellblazer," the brooding, graphic novel-style comic it is based upon, "Constantine" is the tale of John Constantine, a moody antihero played with intense vigor by Reeves. Years ago, near death, Constantine discovered the reality of hell only to be returned to Earth. He now hunts demonic half-breeds who live among us without us knowing it, shoving them into the black abyss in hopes of earning his right to eventually enter heaven. The one super-nifty gadget he's got: brass knuckles adorned with a crucifix.
That's plenty to chew on for a while, but "Constantine" wastes no time ratcheting up its convoluted drama.
There's some sort of secret sword that's not been held in human hands since the Nazis. That figures. Then there's a possessed teen. And a strange mental patient's apparent suicide. Her twin cop sister (Rachel Weisz) has this nagging ability to sense where she needs to be to catch crooks. There's a bowling alley where, gosh darn it, nobody ever seems to roll a ball.
There's also an angel with wings. And demons who fly through the night like they're chasing Vin Diesel in "Pitch Black."
Funny, but "Constantine" does seem to conjure up a lot of movies. There are endless moments that will remind you of "The Exorcist," "Rosemary's Baby," "Angels in America," the aliens-on-Earth "They Live" and every James Bond movie ever made. Worse, those are all much better films than the one you're watching.
Thankfully, Tilda Swinton shows up in androgynous perfection as the winged Gabriel, her face pancaked to a beautiful blank with piercing mascara-free eyes. She steals every scene she's in.
Reeves' problem is the same he's had in so many films Ñ he's given too much dialogue.
This is the guy moviegoers love to follow in "Speed" when he's grunting and groaning just to hold on under a fast-moving bus. Or Cirque du Soleiling in slo-mo while obliterating an office tower lobby with substantial firearms in "The Matrix."
In "Constantine," most of Reeves' battles are in his head, and, coupled with novice feature film director Francis Lawrence's murky vision and uninventive computer-generated imagery, many moviegoers may well give up long before the plot twists and turns toward its hellacious denouement.
As one character spurts in "Constantine," "God is a kid with an ant farm."
Yeah, and the same could be said of some filmmakers.
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