'Dead Man's Chest': This 'Pirates' sequel is jolly good
Austin American-Statesman
Yo ho, yo ho, this sequel will impress ye.
"Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" avoids the sophomore jinx, so drink up, me 'earties, yo ho!
The jokes are funnier, the stunts braver, the villains scarier and the pirates are, eh, piratier? ... more piratey? It's even longer, but only by about seven minutes.
Buena Vista Pictures
'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest' 3 out of 5 stars The verdict: This 'Chest' is filled with treasures. Director: Gore Verbinski
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In the sequel to 2003's "Curse of the Black Pearl," we're reunited with Capt. Jack Sparrow, the fair Elizabeth Swann and the blacksmith Will Turner. The latter pair are forced to fulfill a major favor for Jack: saving him from a blood debt owed to wicked half-pirate, half-sea creature Davy Jones.
In all fairness, Lizzy and Billy (Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom) don't really volunteer to help the charming pirate Jack (Johnny Depp.) They get roped into this misadventure after a snotty anti-piracy British trader interrupts their wedding, giving them the ultimatum: Bring back Cap'n Jack or die.
In the middle of the mission, Will finds Jack on a cannibal island nibbling on a necklace of toes. Jack seems relieved to see the familiar face, the two escape and Jack promptly thanks his old friend by selling him to the soul-stealing pirate Davy Jones to buy some time for his own soul.
Meanwhile, Elizabeth stows away on a trade ship, hoping to find her lover so they can get back to the islands and get hitched.
Like "Curse," "Dead Man's Chest" is too long, taking more than a half-hour to really get going. Sheesh, my yaars were turning into yawns.
But once the swash got buckling, the yawns were forgotten. Depp impresses again with his thick eyeliner, gold teeth and saucy accent. His comedic timing is perfect and he brings enough fun to the plot that we forgive some of the silly looking special effects.
Maybe Depp's raves from the first film encouraged Bloom to try to compete. But his jokes are obvious and fall flat in the sand. The sweet Knightley also tries her hand at some slapstick and silly swordplay, but only earns laughs when she shows up to work on a ship dressed like Paul Revere.
We're also introduced to a slew of new characters: Will Turner's long-lost father, starfish-faced Bootstrap Bill (Stellan Skarsgard); voodoo witch Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris); and British meanie Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander). Each of these characters teases to a set of twists to bring to the final film. (The final "Pirates" was filmed back-to-back with "Dead Man's Chest" and is due out next summer.)
But the most notable new edition is fish-faced pirate Davy Jones.
He's captain of the oft-submerged Flying Dutchman, full of a crew of lost souls who have been at sea so long they've turned half marine.
The only word to describe these slimy, grimy aquamen: Ick. (Shudder.)
Capt. Davy (Bill Nighy) has a 20-tentacled squid for a face and is drenched in decades of zebra mussels and ocean gook. He also has a lobster claw for a hand.
Pretty tough for a man who shares his name with a Monkee.
But Davy Jones (the pirate, not the Monkees' singer) is not as nasty looking as some of his crew, such as the sailor with the blowfish face or the one who's stuck inside a seashell or the one with the barnacle eczema. (Shuuudddderrrr.)
"Dead Man's Chest," though entertaining, has sucked the joy out of Shrimp Fest at Red Lobster.
The team of director Gore Verbinski, writers Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio and producer Jerry Bruckheimer, who all return from "Curse," put so much punch into this sequel it raises the question how they'll top themselves to end the trilogy: It'll take more than new, even ickier creatures to bring the series to a satisfying conclusion.
While not worth its weight in pirate gold, "Dead Man's Chest" is well worth the eight doubloons or so it costs for a ticket.
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