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'Da Vinci' gets bogged down by its own code

As allegedly blasphemous movies go, "The Da Vinci Code" isn't fit to wash the feet of "The Last Temptation of Christ." That 1988 film tested boundaries in an honest attempt to understand the human/divine nature of Jesus, while this new one is simply a thriller — one that has roughly as much to say about religion as "Mission: Impossible III" offers on geopolitics.

Sony Pictures 'The Da Vinci Code' 2 out of 5 stars Director: Ron Howard Starring: Tom Hanks, Jean Reno, Audrey Tautou, Alfred Molina, Ian McKellen Run time: 149 minutes Release date: May 19, 2006 Rating: PG-13 for disturbing images, violence, some nudity, thematic material, brief drug references and sexual content. See showtimes Sneak peek Take an advance look at action in "The Da Vinci Code" with these stills from the movie. Decoding the story • Insightful storytelling or historical blunders? • Who was the real da Vinci? • What did early Christians really say about Jesus? On the web Official movie site View the trailer    Trailers require Quicktime Rate 'The Da Vinci Code'   Go see it   Make it a matinee   Wait to rent   Don't bother Voter Limit: Once per Hour View Poll Results

Unfortunately, as popcorn-munchers go, this 2 1/2-hour yarn is pretty unthrilling. The kinds of things that might make a book ideal for airport reading (a self-importantly urgent tempo, endless expository dialogue, just enough recognizable history to convince readers they're learning something) don't make for much fun in a Ron Howard movie.

I say this about the movie alone, having avoided the book entirely. (My interest in dark Vatican conspiracies waned back when the Hardy Boys solved "The Case of the Pope's Missing Slippers.") Judged solely as a summer blockbuster, it's hard to imagine anyone getting worked up about "Da Vinci," pro or con.

Things start well enough, with a panicked old man being chased through the moonlit Louvre by a limping, white-haired monk. The man is murdered, but takes a long time to die. After his killer runs home for some gory self-flagellation, the victim hobbles around the famous galleries planting riddles in the hopes that just the right puzzle-solver will find them. (Why he doesn't just find a phone and deliver his message straight is a mystery for another book.)

Enter Tom Hanks, a scholar of symbols, and Audrey Tautou, cryptographer. Both actors have carried other films easily, but in bowing to this one's ersatz seriousness they become terribly dull. The mystery they uncover sounds like fun — stuff about the Holy Grail, knights protecting it, nefarious clergymen and a blasphemous secret about Jesus' wife and kids — but there's so much of it for Hanks to recount, seminar-style, that the story's codes and riddles have little room to breathe.

It falls to Ian McKellen, as an eccentric Grail scholar, to bring some color to the film. He's used to energizing long fantasy films, but J.R.R. Tolkien gave him a lot more to work with than Dan Brown did.