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'Ethan Green': The film, like his social life, is unfabulous

"The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green" is, sad to say, mostly unfabulous. (Sorry, the title is a gift to reviewers.)

Eric Orner's alternative comic strip about a lovelorn gay man and his menagerie of friends and lovers has tickled readers, gay and straight, for decades now. It predates — and anticipates — "Queer as Folk," "Sex and the City" and all their serial-dating-as-social-insight-and-entertainment ilk.

Regent Releasing 'The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green' 2 out of 5 stars The verdict: Leaves too much on the page. Director: George Bamber Starring: Daniel Letterle, Dave Monahan, Diego Serrano, Dean Shelton, Shanola Hampton Run time: 88 minutes Release date: June 16, 2006 Rating: R for sexual content and language. On the web Official movie site Rate 'The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green'   Go see it   Make it a matinee   Wait to rent   Don't bother Voter Limit: Once per Hour View Poll Results

What makes the strip so appetizing — Orner's brittle wit, his slightly fantasized treatment of his subjects — does not translate gracefully to the screen. Live actors, even sympathetic ones such as Daniel Letterle in the title role, are too, well, fleshy and, conversationally, wet. Another way of putting it, they are overly animated.

Screenwriter David Vernon shapes the story around real estate: Ethan's domicile, owned by bookish ex-boyfriend Leo (the too-handsome David Monahan) and shared with lesbian best friend Charlotte (perky Shanola Hampton), is up for sale.

What will Ethan do? Move in with current boyfriend and ex-baseball player Kyle (goofy-on-purpose, model-hot Diego Serrano)? Boink the annoying, text-messaging twink Punch (on-target Dean Shelton)? Or move into a retirement community apartment, playing into the hand of Log Cabin Republican Chester (overdone Scott Atkinson), who plans a commitment ceremony with Leo.

Confused? You should be. Continuity is not this movie's strong suit. The personal relationships — and their relationships to the spaces around them — are too fluid for a romantic comedy with farcical touches. We never get our bearings and, worse, just don't care about Ethan — or any of his gang. (The single actor who delivers with distinction is Meredith Baxter as Ethan's aggravatingly tolerant mother.)

Attempts to bring Ethan's story into the 21st century don't completely work. The commitment ceremony, these days, would be a wedding. The cell-phone addled twink is, as visual comedy, so 2002. The constant date-swapping feels unmotivated, a ghost from another era. The Hat Sisters — a pair of older men always adorned in ornate chapeaux — are still funny on the page, but look ludicrous, dated in the screen.

All that aside, "Ethan Green" can make one smile, even chuckle occasionally.

This movie, which comes with a built-in fan base, could have broken new ground. Instead, it settles for a pale version of Orner's sage and pioneering take on gay life.