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'Find Me Guilty': Diesel is about as convincing as his toupee

A big stand-up ad for "The Sopranos" sat in the lobby of the theater where "Find Me Guilty" was screened for critics.

Bad idea. The promo didn't do any good for the theater itself, now that fewer people than ever turn off the tube to take in a movie at the multiplex. And it definitely didn't do any favors for "Guilty" — a leaden mob drama confirming that HBO now owns the goombah factory.

Yari Film Group 'Find Me Guilty' C- The verdict: Further proof that Hollywood has lost the goodfellas franchise to HBO. Director: Sidney Lumet Starring: Vin Diesel, Peter Dinklage, Annabella Sciorra, Richard Portnow, Linus Roache Run time: 125 minutes Release date: March 17, 2006 Rating: R for strong language and some violence. See showtimes On the web Official movie site View the trailer    Trailers require Quicktime Rate 'Find Me Guilty'   Go see it   Make it a matinee   Wait to rent   Don't bother Voter Limit: Once per Hour View Poll Results

Disjointedly directed by Sidney Lumet and shot in drab brown tones as if through wet tea leaves, the movie mainly serves as an attempt to launch Vin Diesel off the sci-fi and action-flick treadmill. Good try, Vin. Maybe next time.

Ten years too young for the role and wearing a hairpiece that makes him look like a rooster, Diesel plays real-life Jersey mobster Giacomo "Jackie Dee" DiNorscio. He was one of 20 defendants in a racketeering trial that lasted nearly two years. And he insisted on defending himself in court, freaking out his fellow defendants and their lawyers. After all, any mistakes Jackie made would affect all their verdicts.

Jackie views himself as an entertainer, repeatedly telling jurors he's a gagster, not a gangster. With his adenoidal thunder-rumble of a voice, Diesel is attention-grabbing as he cracks lame jokes and gets the gavel slammed at him by the judge (Ron Silver). But you never quite forget that it's Diesel, not DiNorscio, who's performing.

"Guilty" spends most of its time in the courtroom, with Diesel surrounded by a bevy of thick-and-jowly character actors scowling thuggishly while DiNorscio does the omerta thing. Vowing never to rat out a fellow hood, he says, "I love these guys, they're all I've got." But you may find yourself thinking, fine — you can have 'em.

The movie wants to put us on a slippery moral slope, like "Silence of the Lambs" or, well, "The Sopranos," by getting us to root for the bad guys and hope they thwart the self-righteous D.A. (Linus Roache, badly miscast in angry, vein-popping mode). But we never really get to know or care about Jackie.

The closest we get is a surprise jailhouse visit by his ex-wife (Annabella Sciorra), who burns through a handful of emotions in her few minutes of screen time. It's a sharp turn — until you realize it's completely gratuitous and doesn't really deepen or advance the movie.

Still, you're grateful to Sciorra for bringing a little spark. And, hey, come to think of it, she was a scene-stealer in "The Sopranos," too. (You seeing a pattern here?)

Peter Dinklage, face half-buried behind an enormous mustache, also has some good moments as an attorney representing another of the defendants who does his best to keep DiNorscio on a leash. But a few good performances can't carry a sluggishly written and directed movie that you may want to rename "Find Me an Exit."