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'House of D': Stands for "Dreadful"

Plenty of actors have made the leap to become successful directors, but judging from House of D, his feature debut, it does not look like David Duchovny (TV's The X-Files) will be one of them.

Lions Gate Films 'House of D' D The verdict: Credibility-defying memories of '70s Greenwich Village. Director: David Duchovny Starring: Anton Yelchin, Tea Leoni, David Duchovny, Robin Williams Run time: 96 minutes Release date: April 15, 2005 Rating: PG-13 for sexual and drug references, thematic elements and language. See showtimes On the web Official movie site View the trailer    Trailers require Quicktime Rate "House of D"   Go see it   Make it a matinee   Wait to rent   Don't bother Voter Limit: Once per Hour View Poll Results

He wrote, directed and plays a small role in this mawkish, synthetic coming-of-age story, so we know whom to blame.

He plays American expatriate Tom Warshaw, living in Paris and recalling his early teens in 1973 Greenwich Village, triggered by his own son's 13th birthday. Anton Yelchin (Hearts in Atlantis) takes over as the younger Tommy in flashback, as he contends with his pill-popping widowed mother (Duchovny's wife, Tea Leoni), his mentally challenged janitor pal (Robin Williams in saccharine sappy mode), his first girlfriend (Zelda Williams, yup, Robin's daughter) and a prisoner (songstress Erykah Badu) who spouts profound advice to him.

The reminiscences are so artificial, yet are hardly the sort of details one would make up. Duchovny fails to persuade us with his script and draws such cringe-making performances from his cast that his directing skills seem minimal.

At least he is bound to make it onto the list of worst films of 2005.