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Sandler guides 'Longest Yard' to victory

For any football movie to be worth an $8 ticket, the storyline must be good and the characters playing the game must be believable.

Therein lies the strength of "The Longest Yard," a remake of the 1974 film about a wretched group of inmates playing football against an equally repulsive batch of prison guards. Led by Adam Sandler, a surprisingly effective quarterback for the convicts, the new version takes its audience on a fast-paced joyride of adult humor and body-slamming action.

Paramount Pictures 'The Longest Yard' 3 out of 5 stars Director: Peter Segal Starring: Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds, William Fichtner, James Cromwell Run time: 109 minutes Release date: May 27, 2005 Rating: PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, violence, language and drug references. See showtimes On the web Official movie site View the trailer    Trailers require Quicktime Rate "The Longest Yard"   Go see it   Make it a matinee   Wait to rent   Don't bother Voter Limit: Once per Hour View Poll Results

The movie works because Sandler, who was coached for the role by a former NFL quarterback, and players for both teams have game. When one of the main figures for the convicts is former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin, who looks like he could still play in the NFL, the story merits attention.

The new convicts-vs.-guards flick closely resembles the original starring Burt Reynolds, who returns here as a grizzled coach/inmate in the Allenville Penitentiary in West Texas.

Sandler plays washed-up quarterback Paul Crewe, whose career was ended by a point-shaving scandal. When the former Heisman Trophy winner and NFL Most Valuable Player takes half the San Diego police force on a drunken chase in his wife's Bentley, he earns a trip to Allenville.

Taunted by guards and convicts alike, Crewe makes one loyal friend — Caretaker (a scene-stealing Chris Rock, who has some of the movie's wittiest lines). Hardly big enough to play in a high school game, Caretaker admits he was never a very good athlete: "I wouldn't get picked (for teams) until after the white kids."

The convicts get a surprise bonus when Megget (rapper Nelly) agrees to play running back. So fast and elusive that he runs out of his sneakers, he has some of the game's most dazzling plays. "Run, Forrest, run!" Caretaker shouts as Megget races to the end zone.

The most menacing character for the cons, also known as the Mean Machine, is Turley (wrestler Dalip Singh), whom Caretaker calls a "Coke machine with legs." At 7 feet, 2 inches with a glare that would make wolves nervous, Turley is an unblockable force.

As a stern warden with political aspirations, screen veteran James Cromwell effectively plays the role that made Eddie Albert a villain in the original movie.

Screen legend Cloris Leachman provides some of the funniest scenes as the warden's oversexed secretary. She resembles an older Mrs. Doubtfire who's obsessed with getting Crewe behind closed doors. The role was played by a very young Bernadette Peters 31 years ago.

With so much comedy provided by other characters, Sandler opts for a mature approach not often seen in his films. He absorbs punishment from sadistic guards and is roughed up by Irvin in a one-on-one game of basketball.

It's all part of a skillfully directed blend of action and comic relief, a remake that scores big.