accessAtlanta

'The Longest Yard': Sandler drops the ball on this one

I can sum up why "The Longest Yard" falls short in four words: football quarterback Adam Sandler.

Sandler has built has career on playing some variation of a goofy, lovable schmuck. That makes it more than a little hard to buy him as a brash jock in this fumbled remake of the 1974 football prison movie with Burt Reynolds.

Paramount Pictures 'The Longest Yard' C+ The verdict: Never scores better than a field goal. Director: Peter Segal Starring: Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Burt Reynolds, William Fichtner, James Cromwell Run time: 109 minutes Release date: May 27, 2005 Rating: PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, violence, language and drug references. See showtimes On the web Official movie site View the trailer    Trailers require Quicktime Rate "The Longest Yard"   Go see it   Make it a matinee   Wait to rent   Don't bother Voter Limit: Once per Hour View Poll Results

When Reynolds stopped a prison guard from wailing on him by grabbing the guard's baton in mid-swing, I absolutely believed it. When Sandler does it, it rates about a nine on the "Oh, come on" scale.

Sandler plays Paul Crewe, a washed-up pro quarterback who lands in the slammer after a night of drunk driving. He's none too popular with the inmates or the guards because he shaved points from pro games.

As his only friend in prison, the Caretaker (Chris Rock), tells him, "You could have robbed banks or stolen your grandmother's pension, and no one would have cared. But shaving points off a game? That's un-American."

Still, Crewe gets a shot at redemption when the sadistic, football-crazed warden (James Cromwell) recruits him to lead a team of inmates who will play an all-important game against the brutish prison guards. The inmates aren't expected to win, of course, but Crewe has other ideas.

The 2005 "Longest Yard" slavishly copies the original, which many regard as a classic, sometimes scene-for-scene and line-for-line. The 1974 film was absurd macho posturing, but it was enjoyable macho posturing thanks to strong direction by Robert Aldrich (who also made "The Dirty Dozen") and one of Burt Reynolds' best performances.

Some of that energy carries over into the remake. Rock's characteristically caustic barbs give it a boost, and so does Reynolds' performance as the coach, Nate Scarborough, played by Michael Conrad in the original film.

Although his latter-day career has been spotty, Reynolds definitively proves his old charisma is intact. Ironically, Reynolds also heightens Sandler's weakness by blowing him off the screen. Sandler was a shrimp to begin with; next to Reynolds, he's a minnow.

The remake also falters because most of its best moments are borrowed from the first film. Much of what the remake adds is poisoned by the juvenile humor that made Sandler's early comedies such chores to watch.

Case in point: The original movie showed male cheerleaders in drag in the background of the big game. This time, they're front and center, with the most worn-out "gays in prison" jokes ripped from the playbook of stale comedy cliches.

"The Longest Yard" is all the more disappointing because Sandler's movies had gotten better lately, and I don't just mean his left-field departures in "Punch-Drunk Love" and "Spanglish." I also liked his recent comedies like "Anger Management" and "50 First Dates" because they focused more on people and less on crudity.

Now, Sandler's regressing, and in a role that doesn't suit him, no less. It's no wonder the movie never scores better than a field goal.