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'Miss Congeniality 2': Don't tinker with our beloved Gracie

Lightning, they say, does not strike twice in the same place. The creaky but cute Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous certainly proves that.

Oh, MC2's comic sparks are in roughly the same neighborhood as the genuine sweetness and sharpness that made the first Miss Congeniality an unexpected charmer and a big, huge hit. And star/producer Sandra Bullock and director John Pasquin have tried to guarantee a similar box-office bonanza by changing as little as possible.

Warner Bros. Pictures 'Miss Congeniality 2' The verdict: If movie reviews were a beauty pageant, "Miss Congeniality 2" would win "Miss Nice To See You Again, Better Luck Next Time." Director: John Pasquin Starring: Sandra Bullock, Regina King, Enrique Murciano, William Shatner, Ernie Hudson and Heather Burns Run time: 115 minutes Release date: March 24, 2005 Rating: PG for sex-related humor See showtimes On the web Official movie site View the trailer   -- Trailers require Quicktime Rate "Miss Congeniality 2"   Go see it   Make it a matinee   Wait to rent   Don't bother Voter Limit: Once per Hour View Poll Results

To wit: Part Deux has the same basic, fish-out-of-water feel as Part Un, returning the awkward FBI agent back to the world of personal stylists and pink lipstick that she explored as an undercover pageant contestant.

It's got a lame kidnapping plot that involves some of the first movie's characters: Heather Burns as the straight-arrow, dim pageant queen and William "Denny Crane" Shatner as the sweetly self-involved pageant host.

And when the filmmakers can't get back a couple of pivotal actors from the first movie — namely, Benjamin Bratt as Gracie's partner/would-be boyfriend, Eric, and the sublimely dignified Michael Caine as fed-up but dedicated pageant consultant, Vic — Pasquin and screenwriter Marc Lawrence just plug in another Latin hottie FBI agent (Without A Trace's Enrique Murciano) and another flamboyant stylist type (Diedrich Bader of The Drew Carey Show and various JCPenney commercials), as if they hope no one will notice the complete and utter lack of originality.

The one place where Team Congeniality get original is — surprise — the movie's strength. Regina King (Ray), who I'm always saying oughta be more famous than she is, is on hand as Sam Fuller, a raging loner agent with anger-management issues. This is a nice way of saying she's got a short fuse the size of a Tic Tac, and it's lit, sparking and ready to blow somebody up real good.

The abrasive, anger-prone Sam immediately clashes with the recently dumped Gracie, allowing King and Bullock, both gifted with comic timing, pretty hair and a knack for sudden melancholy, to exercise some serious cop-buddy chemistry. They're spiffy enough that I wouldn't mind seeing Gracie and Sam team up for another round of wry butt-kicking.

But only if that movie were better than Miss Congeniality 2.

As I said, it's not bad. But it commits some common sequel errors, the most glaring of which it shares with the wretched, wretched Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason. And that is, taking a familiar and likable character and giving her a weird and improbable personality transplant that renders her a silly and unpleasant shell of her former fabulous self.

Screenwriter Lawrence doesn't quite turn Gracie into a pathetic clingy harpy, like Edge of Reason director Beeban Kidron did to our Bridge. But he comes close.

Gracie, you see, has become something of a celeb after her pageant caper, so much that it's now impossible for her to work undercover.

Her boss (Ernie "The Lost Ghostbuster" Hudson) tells her that the only way she can stay with the agency is to become the "new face of the FBI," meaning that she's on a permanent PR duty. With the help of stylist Joel (Bader) and a few nameless, interchangeable stylettes, Gracie becomes polished, buffed and close-up ready.

But unlike her pageant experience, which left her open-minded but still tough and snorting like a pig, this PR gig makes Gracie a raving diva. And I didn't buy it.

Until her inevitable return to her senses, it's as if Bullock is playing some completely different character who looks like Sandra Bullock in her Southern belle Hope Floats days. Whoever it is, it's 100 percent not our Gracie.

Agent Diva is pressed back into service, sort of, when pageant friends Cheryl (Burns) and Stan (Shatner) are kidnapped in Vegas, in a ridiculous plot turn that has absolutely no purpose but to get Gracie back into fighting mode. With new bodyguard Sam and stylist Joel in tow, she heads out to investigate, making friends with sweet, goofy agent Jeff (the very charming Murciano) and clashing with pompous area bureau chief Collins (the fab Treat Williams) and his shady underling Janet (former Law & Order star Elisabeth Rohm.)

A bunch of dumb stuff you've already seen in the previews happens, not all of it funny. Fortunately, most of the funny stuff is pretty hilarious, and there are the unexpectedly poignant moments, such as the scene where Gracie explains to Sam what it's like to take a chance on love, only to get dumped on your keister and have your unworthiness confirmed. It's a nice, quiet moment, and it works because we love Gracie.

We kinda like some parts of her new movie.

The Flick Chick's Bottom Line: If movie reviews were a beauty pageant, Miss Congeniality 2 would win "Miss Nice To See You Again, Better Luck Next Time."