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'The Pacifier'

By MELINDA ENNIS
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Vin Diesel's new movie may not pacify his extreme-action-addict fans looking for an adrenaline fix, but it is a nice little Disney film that is a surprisingly pleasant way to spend time with the family. "The Pacifier" reminds you of the innocent capers the studio churned out in the '60s to satisfy the family drive-in crowd, but updated with judo moves and karate chops meant to please the current crop of kids.

Granted, in terms of acting chops, Diesel is no Dustin Hoffman. As writer Dorothy Parker once famously said of Katharine Hepburn, Diesel "runs the gamut of emotions from A to B." But as with Arnold Schwarzenegger's similar "Kindergarten Cop," all that is needed is a beefy guy as a foil for cute kids and real actors. And Diesel does beefy well.

Walt Disney Pictures

'The Pacifier'

C+

The verdict: Vin Diesel battles baby bottles in this bit of pablum that's good for some grown-up giggles.

Director: Adam Shankman
Starring: Vin Diesel, Lauren Graham
Run time: 91 minutes
Release date: March 4, 2005
Rating: PG for action violence, language and rude humor.
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On the web
Official movie site
View the trailer
-- Trailers require Quicktime

He plays tough and buff Navy SEAL Shane Wolfe, whose prowess and macho maneuvers are as impeccable as his pecs. After Diesel fails to save an important scientist from being murdered during a rescue mission, he is assigned to guard the dead man's family from the bad guys who are still at large. As these films go, the identities and motives of the bad guys are minor details. Although, interestingly, the Soviet agent bad guys of the '60s have been updated as North Korean operatives -- making you wonder if we are running out of politically correct bad guys.

The family consists of the perky, pretty widow (Faith Ford) and her stair-step brood of five: an adorable baby, a precocious toddler, a wiseacre 8-year-old girl, a brooding pubescent boy and a rebellious teenaged girl. The kids, especially Morgan York as Lulu, the 8-year-old, are all so Hollywood proficient that they manage to transcend their stereotypes and prop up Diesel enough to create some funny onscreen bits.

The best moments are when Diesel has to play den mother to Lulu's group of giggly Firefly Girls. The cookie-selling girls set up shop at a Costco and are intimidated by a group of Boy Scouts, who object to competition on their raffle-ticket sales turf. The resulting showdown will get some laughs from any parent who has spent a morning with his child hawking fund-raising wares in front of the local supermarket.

The supporting cast includes Carol Kane, almost unrecognizable as the family's Russian au pair. Her beleaguered, befuddled portrayal delivers laughs as always. Lauren Graham, as a school principal who turns out to be Diesel's love interest, is bland in a one-dimensional role. But Brad Garrett is just plain goofy as the assistant principal at the kids' school.

There is a lot of sophomoric goofiness in "The Pacifier," which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's hard not to laugh at a plotline that has Diesel directing an amateur production of "The Sound of Music" featuring two gangly teenagers warbling "Sixteen Going on Seventeen."

As with Schwarzenegger before him, Diesel is apparently trying to move beyond the action roles that have been his forte. Just like the film, he wobbles a bit. But he doesn't fall down, and the audience has some fun watching him and the kids kid around.