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For good and ill, 'The Promise' lives in its own world

Something's always falling through the air in "The Promise."

Blossoms, feathers, snowflakes, people.

Warner Independent Pictures 'The Promise' B The verdict: Excessive doesn't begin to say it. Director: Chen Kaige Starring: Chen Hong, Liu Ye, Guan Xiaotong, Nicholas Tse, Hiroyuki Sanada Run time: 103 minutes Release date: May 5, 2006 Rating: PG-13 for stylized violence and martial arts action, and some sexual content. Language: Chinese with English subtitles. See showtimes On the web Official movie site View the trailer    Trailers require Quicktime [an error occurred while processing this directive]

An Oscar nominee this year for best foreign language film, and at around $30 million-plus reportedly the most expensive movie ever made in China, Kaige Chen's fantasy epic is the sort of certifiably insane picture that keeps you watching, if only to see what craziness it'll come up with next.

More berserko graphic novel than martial arts fantasy, the movie is best enjoyed if you take it as a kind of live-action anime. That way you'll be less distracted by the kitschy special effects and one-dimensional characters and more open to the film's considerable beauty and out-there tone.

The convoluted plot begins with a promise made by a starving little girl to a goddess decked out in flowing robes and a gravity-defying ponytail. In exchange for beauty and riches beyond compare, little Qingcheng will be fated to lose every man she falls in love with. For a kid so desperate she's just wrenched a bun from the bloody grip of a dead soldier, it's a no-brainer.

Beauty and wealth, please.

Jump ahead 20 years and we're on the front lines with powerful General Guangming (Hiroyuki Sanada). Also known as the Master of the Crimson Armor, the outnumbered general still manages to rout the enemy thanks to a particularly ruthless strategy and the abilities of a mysterious slave, Kunlun (Dong-Kun Jang), who can outcrawl the herd of thundering buffalo the black-clad barbarians have sent to decimate Guangming's red-clad warriors (like Kurosawa, Kaige goes in for color-coded armies).

But there's more. A lot more. Summoned to rescue his king, whose palace is surrounded by the white-on-white troops of the wily Wuhuan (a wonderfully silken Nicholas Tse), the general is waylaid by Snow Wolf (Ye Liu), a sad-eyed wraith carrying a snake-shaped sword.

Badly wounded, the general orders Kunlun to don his armor and go in his place. But when his surrogate sees the king abusing the gorgeous, all-grown-up Princess Qingcheng (Cecilia Cheung), he kills the king instead. She, in turn, mistakenly falls for the general, believing he rescued her, and Kunlun refuses to betray his master. Meanwhile, for reasons of his own, the effete and murderous Wuhuan schemes against them all.

Kaige, who also wrote the screenplay, comes up with some outrageous images, such as Qingcheng lying like a captured bird in an immense golden cage, covered in white feathers. Or floating in the air like a human kite after Kunlun rescues her.

Wuhuan prances about with a solid-gold scepter shaped like a pointing finger and dispatches his enemies with bladed fans of death. Qingcheng's eyeshadow tends to match whatever is the predominant color in Peter Pau's cinematography (he also filmed "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon"). And the general's horse looks fabulous in its red-knitted mane and tail, which match its master's armor.

Like little kids on a sugar high, the movie, with its delirious extravagance and dauntingly over-the-top battle sequences and confrontations, has a made-up-as-it-goes-along quality. "The Promise" may try your patience, but you haven't seen anything else like it this year.

Promise.