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Grade: C

Verdict: Just what nobody needed: an animated musical romantic comedy about the Spanish pillaging of the Aztecs.

Details: Animated film featuring the voices of Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh. Rated PG for mild thematic material and profanity. 1 hour, 23 minutes.

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Review: There's lots of water in "The Road to El Dorado." Water that spews from cliffsides, roars against boulders or drifts lazily beneath the animated Mexican sky. So much love and intricate technical work have gone into creating the movie's waves, droplets and gushers, you wish somebody had spent as much time on the plot, the characters and the music.

Better yet, someone should have figured out the target audience for this amiable but oddball flick. It's not cute enough for kids, not clever enough for adults. It's gorgeous but curiously dull.

The story: A couple of 16th-century Spanish scam artists, Miguel (voiced by Kenneth Branagh) and Tulio (Kevin Kline) accidentally wind up in the New World with a map leading to the fabled city of gold, El Dorado. The movie might have been more fun if the road (rather, jungle path) were longer. Our boys get to the hidden Aztec empire pretty quickly, leaving the script to spin its wheels as it tries to spark comedy from the power struggle between the city's amiable Chief (Edward James Olmos) and its bloodthirsty high priest, Tzekel-Kan (Armand Assante).

See, Tulio and Miguel are mistaken for gods on their arrival — which is basically what happened in Mexico to real-life explorer Cortes, a small but pivotal character in "Road." They make all the right moves thanks to native Chel (Rosie Perez), who conveniently speaks perfect English, like everyone else in El Dorado. She wants to escape this dreamy little wonderland, so she helps the boys hoard gold and wait for the completion of a ship to take them back to the Old World. In other words, she's as callous and craven as they are.

Eventually, Tulio and Chel fall in love (or at least fool around), while Miguel falls for the charms of the city. There's not much in the way of plot or character to keep you (or your kids) interested. The two antiheroes' nonstop patter is supposed to be charming, but a little goes a long way. The movie wants to invoke the old Hope and Crosby "Road" movies, but I'm not sure why. Let's face it, those old flicks don't hold any relevance for today's kids. Or their parents. Speaking of parents, they'll either be amused or appalled by Chel. Curvier than Jessica Rabbit, she definitely looks like something you'd find in a toy shop. A sex-toy shop.

In what seems a bit of third-act desperation, "Road" throws in an Aztec version of a basketball game, then introduces an angry stone giant. This monster, summoned by the priest, is a supernatural device that comes out of nowhere and doesn't jibe with the rest of the movie's wise-guy tone. You figure if the Aztecs could really summon monsters, Cortes would be a piece of cake. The movie's few forgettable songs are by Elton John and Tim Rice; they sound like something the two doodled in the minutes between "Aida" rehearsals.

Like DreamWorks' previous venture into animation, the beautiful but remote "Prince of Egypt," "Road" fuses visual splendor with unsteady storytelling and tone. Maybe they need to stop noodling with history and get busy cooking up compelling stories and memorable characters.

For the record, the animated waves and splashes were created via a new computer program called Spryticle. The water is definitely beautiful. But the movie is a washout.

— Steve Murray, Cox News Service

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