Atlanta gospel singer has freed himself of an abusive childhood
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Monday, August 25, 2008
Testimonies are commonplace in contemporary gospel and Christian music.
Those testimonies, however, rarely sound like this: “Mom, your husband — that man that’s your knight in shining armor — is my worst nightmare. He molested me.”
Alexander Acosta/aacosta@ajc.com
Darwin Hobbs’ sixth CD includes a track recounting his struggle to free himself from guilt of being abused as a child.
That’s basically what Atlanta contemporary gospel singer Darwin Hobbs finally decided to tell his mother when his stepfather passed away two years ago.
The first thing he did, though — actually just two days later — was write his new single “Free.”
It goes: “Free / Free from my past / Free from the pain / Free from the guilt that would cause me to be a-shamed.”
“Free” is a single on Hobbs’ sixth CD, in stores Tuesday, also titled “Free.”
And a funny and surprisingly unguarded Hobbs indeed seems free as he recently welcomed visitors into his Gwinnett County home.
“Darwin’s friendship is real, his heart is genuine and real, and he’s just real, real,” remarks his friend of four years, syndicated radio and TV personality Cory “Coco Brother” Condrey.
“And I literally just told him, now that he is breaking his silence, man, the journey is going to be long. But it will be so rewarding.”
It was on Coco Brother’s show — which airs daily on Praise 97.5 FM and on Hot 107.9 FM on Sundays — that Hobbs first, really, publicly shared what he says he experienced when he was 12.
“It was the most horrible part of my life — ever,” Hobbs says as he settles into a chair at his kitchen table. “It probably molded and shaped me into the person I was up until the age of at least 22. And I mean, I was a horrible mess … I was real aggressive, horrible, just temperamental. I would attack and lash out at people. And it was only because of having been stripped of that control and power as a child.”
“So as an adult, ” he continues, “what do I do? I overassert myself and make sure everybody knows I am not going to be messed over. It was an unhealthy way to live. A big kid walking around in a grown man’s body — unhealed. And while I was part of the body of Christ, in Christendom, this kind of thing is taboo, too.”
Condrey remembers the night Hobbs shared his story over the airwaves here about two months ago.
“It was so transparent,” Condrey says. “And we just got hundreds of phone calls and e-mails — we’re still getting them — from people saying they were moved by Darwin’s testimony. Or shared that same experience as a child.”
Such reactions have emboldened Hobbs on his current path, including working with Prevent Child Abuse Georgia (1-800-CHILDREN); and writing a book also titled “Free.” It’s “a candid look at childhood sexual abuse and the issues in adulthood that follow,” he says.
His mother, while supportive, is not totally in favor of Hobbs being so public about what she sees as “private family business.” Even two of his five siblings have been “a little bit indifferent,” he says.
“But my mandate does not come from my mother,” Hobbs insists. “It does not even have anything to do with my relationship with God. This is just me, as a person, feeling it is my responsibility to bring awareness. Somebody’s got to be willing to come and talk and share and bear the burden of those people.”
Luckily, Hobbs doesn’t have to bear that burden alone.
Seated across the kitchen table is his best friend since the fifth grade, his wife, Traci.
Hobbs, a worship pastor at New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in Lithonia, is the kind of husband who tells his wife he struggles to go to sleep each night because he’ll miss her. “The Early Show” on CBS included them in a series about such couples titled “Happily Ever After.” Even back in the big-blue-pencils and Trapper-Keeper days in Cincinnati, he told their grade school teachers, their moms and their pastor that he would marry her one day.
“And of course, at 10, 11, 12 years old, I thought that was crazy,” Traci says with a laugh. “He was crazy.”
This November, they’re planning a 15-30-40 party — to celebrate being married for 15 years, best friends for 30, and turning age 40.
“All I’ve ever really known, it seems, is Traci,” Hobbs says as they both smile. “I can safely say that. I can safely say and feel and be a lot of things now.”
