Who’s next to jump on the country bandwagon?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Jewel went country, so did Jessica Simpson — two blondes seeking to have more fun and renewed commercial relevance. Waffle House Customer of the Year Kid Rock tried country riffs on for size.
Darius Rucker suddenly gave a hoot about Music Row. Jazz bassist Charlie Hayden just released a country album, a tribute to his musical roots. Even Bobby Brown, attempting to rise from the ashes of a crashed-and-burnt-crispy career, took a shot at an extreme country makeover on a cheesy CMT reality show.
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Everyone, it seems, wants to cannonball into the Nashville pool. Who’s next? It could be …
• Alison Krauss and Led Zep Station: The success of last year’s Krauss-Robert Plant duo album, “Raising Sand,” makes this merger inevitable. Jimmy Page is said not to be sure about it, but you should hear his rawkin’ solo on “Tennessee Stud.”
• New Kids on the Block: The reunion tour has gone fine, but they can’t go on as a hip-shaking boy band forever lest they’ll all wind up in traction. Ladies and gents, give it up for the New Hosses on the Block.
• Miley Cyrus: Her teenybop stage is certain to soon give way to the Britney-esque pot tart phase. When that plays out, bless her Achy Breaky Heart, she’ll need somewhere to impose herself for the remaining seven decades of her career. Music City, make room for Miley.
• Celine Dion: The chronic pop overemoter has no mute button and possesses a “Terminator”-like resolve to conquer everything in her path, so it makes sense that country fame could be in her sights. Plus, those spangled Vegas outfits ought to translate just dandy at the Grand Ole Opry.
• John Mellencamp: The Farm Aid organizer has been trying to get on Nashville’s radar his whole career (“Small Town,” “Jack and Diane”). His impossible-to-delete-from-your-cranium, flag-waving “Our Country,” played endlessly on Chevy Silverado commercials, was a desperate plea for country radio attention. Nashville, please, he won’t give up until you give in.
• Billy Joel: The luxury-car-crashin’ “Piano Man” from Jersey goes countrypolitan and becomes the “Saloon Piano Man.” Charlie Rich, the late great honky tonk-schooled ivory tickler, rolls over in his grave.
• Homer and Jethro (Tull): No one saw the union of cartoon patriarch Homer Simpson and Brit classic rocker Ian Anderson coming, but Nashville’s never been able to resist a novelty act. And, hey, the new name’s got a familiar ring. Duff Beer is ready to back their first tour.
