Linda brought her reindeer ears again. Greg dressed up like Santa even though no one asked him to. Bill keeps joking about the eggnog being boozy even though everyone knows it’s not.
You aren’t funny, Bill.
Yes, holiday office parties can be a thing to behold and loathe. Or they can be a wonderful moment of camaraderie and celebration at the end of the year.
But just like your boss said when you were interviewing: “It has to be a culture fit.” So why wouldn’t your corporate party match the type of office that’s attending?
Below are some suggestions of where to have your office holiday party in Cobb County depending on what type of office you work in.
If y’all like to get your drink on
Looking to embarrass youself with a semi-slurred version of “Auld Lang Syne” to end the year?
Might we suggest going on a limo tour of the county’s breweries and distilleries?
It just so happens that two interns with the county’s Geographic Information System (GIS) program have created such an imbibement-inspiring tool.
If y’all are too competitive
Tired of Doug’s passive-aggressive comments during meetings? Yeah, well, you could leave him in your dust with some go-kart action.
We suggest Andretti Karting & Games for such tire-squeeling amusement. The venue — located at 1255 Roswell Road in Marietta — also has ziplining, rock climbing and a rope obstacle course if Doug is too good of a driver to beat.
The booking portion of its website says there are more than 10,000 square feet of event space.
If y’all are real earthy
Is the breakroom filled with chia-seeded baked goods and posters of Captain Planet? Cool.
Well, a good way to enjoy time with coworkers might not be standing over a plate of mini hotdogs with toothpicks in them. Maybe try some volunteering.
How about some of the many nature-aiding activites offered by the Cobb County Watershed Stewardship Program? From cleaning waterways to marking storm drains, you can find a list of those oppurtunities on the county website here.
If y’all are real uptight
Are you afraid to look your bosses in the eyes at your office? Yeah, you work in an uptight office. As for the party, there’s really two routes to go here.
Option No. 1 is something classy where banter is already judged, so that means an art gallery. Might we suggest dk Gallery on Marietta Square? The gallery — 25 W Park Square — has 2,000 square feet with exposed brick that dates back to the 1890s, according to the rental portion of its website.
Option No. 2 is something that involves alcohol. Might we suggest Stem Wine Bar at 1311 Johnson Ferry Road in Marietta? It is a wine bar from the folks who opened East Cobb staple Seed Kitchen & Bar in 2011. Also, Stem has wine flights, so everyone can get what they like — including tipsy. Book Stem here.
If y’all want it to be about family
One of the greatest, most cherished parts of being a parent is using your child as an excuse to get out of stuff. So it follows that a kid would be great to have around to get out of awkward office-party chitchat.
If y’all are so busy you can’t leave work
Please, if you work in some subterranean secret government facility in Cobb County and push buttons every 30 minutes that keep nuclear reactors in check, don’t go anywhere for an office party.
Also, thank you for doing what you do.
Whether that’s the case at your office or it just feels like it, consider spicing up lunchtime with a food truck rally.
May we suggest hailing the mobile eateries included on this list from the Cobb health department of approved food trucks right here?
If y’all are elegant like swans
Perhaps you have an office full of hockey players or native Minnesotans or people who are generally coordinated.
If that’s the case, lacing up some ice skates together might be a fun office outing.
May we suggest the Marietta Square ice skating rink?
Organizers said that the rink can be reserved for $500 at a maximum of 25 people, but it has to be before regular hours.